Am I being sensitive or would this annoy you?

[MollyPocket]

Why doesn’t anyone ever comment on my baby taking after me in any way or my relationship with her?

Everyone falls over themselves to say how much she looks like DH, how she’ll definitely be a daddy’s girl etc. She did look more like DH when born but has similarities with me that are coming out more all the time.

DH’s family seem to think she is pure their clan and forget my genes have had any part in her making, while my own DM seems to overcompensate thinking daddy needs the comparisons and ignores my part in things. The other week she told me DD is bound to be daddy’s little girl “because daddies are more fun than mummies’.

No one takes photos of me with her unless I specifically request - yet apparently daddy pics are the most heartwarming thing they’ve ever seen.

Forget the fact that it’s me that is the primary caregiver.

Not that I resent DH about it, he is a good dad, but it would be nice if it occurred to someone to make some connection about her being my baby too given that she’s glued to my hip and my whole life revolves around her.

Am I being over sensitive or would this annoy you too?

Since the day they were born, my DC was my spitting image. Confirmed by friends, family, colleagues, strangers and my husband himself.

His family still say "oh DC looks like you" (different eye colour, hair colour, face shape) my husband thinks they are crazy, as clearly DC is my double. They're just obsessed with trying to link to them.

Yes and that's absolutely fine but I don't see why some in laws are absolutely desperate to link it to them. My inlaws were convinced my baby's hair colour was linked to some slightly distant cousin then I pointed out my family also had similar hair colour they got all huffy about it.

My ex mil kept saying to everyone I can't understand where her dark hair comes from about my daughter when she was born, he dad is light brown I have jet black hair it used to really piss me off

This happened ALL the time when my DS was born, up until he was about 2. Jokes on them though because now he's 8, he is the spitting image of my family and they always remark at how they can't see anything of his dad in him 😀 I think it's an evolutionary thing anyway, babies look like their dad's so they can connect with them easier... or something like that!

I think it happens with almost every couple with a newborn. They seem to overcompensate fathers possibly because they know mothers naturally bond as we give birth 90% of the time and try give the dad more bonding reasons. I think it's happened with every one of mine and find 99% of the time this happens. It can be annoying but accept it for what it is and extra reasons for a nervous young dad to feel more comfortable with this tiny human they made and terrified of because they're so small and reliant on them. People expect mothers to know everything when we don't and need bouying up too. Annoying asf at times but ignore it and it will change in a few months. In laws tend to be the worst for it because they feel they need to bond faster because mothers tend to stick close to their mothers and feel a little on the back foot from the start as they know you'll feel more comfortable with your parents. They want to stake a little I'm a grandparent claim on your little person and pick out things that make them feel closer x

My MIL once told me our son was the spitting image of her (plug ugly) husband. So that would be DH's stepfather? Spitting image of DH's stepfather?

Some babies and children really do look so much like one parent and not the other. I know children who are the spitting image of their fathers and others who look exactly like their mums. Of course people will comment on it either way.
My daughter is very much like her father so everyone mentions that. I don't mind. My son is like me and everyone comments on it too.

🤣🤣

This happened to me when my DS was born. My DS is now 14 months and has pure blonde hair like me. My FIL is constantly like it could change any day and be like his dads (my DH has bright ginger hair) I eventually got so annoyed one day with all his comparisons that I just said 'can he not look like his mummy at all I mean come on'. He didn't know what to say but I was so bloody annoyed! It's calmed down after that

Op I think you are being over sensitive. It's literally an evolutionary advantage for babies and young children to resemble their father's as in cave man/tribal times it was more likely the father will stay and look after and protect the child. The similarity to the mother sometimes grows gradually as they get older so when they are 6/7 they start to look more like mummy. Some will stay looking like dad or a mix depending on genetics. It's perfectly normal for family to notice the similarities. It's not a reflection of your parenting skills. Just let it go.

Ugh this is SO FUCKING ANNOYING. When I would point out things that looked like me when I was young my MIL said ‘oh well I don’t know about that’. No you don’t fucking know MIL so just smile and nod??

There's no logic when it comes to babies and families, the amount of nonsense that's been spouted from both sides of our family is incredible.

Smile and nod.

I think perhaps a little over sensitive, don't sweat the small stuff, save your anger and frustration for bigger things.

It is one of those weird biology things, but it is annoying all the same. FIL spent ages going on about how ds(16) gets his engineering and crafting talent from him, even though he is not and never has been an engineer or scientist, never did metalworking or woodworking etc. My family otoh is littered with master builders, highly talented science technicians, etc etc and I'm no mean shakes with a lathe myself.