19 month old constant tantrums

[Lgw20]

I am feeling so overwhelmed.

My little man has always been a more intense child, he had colic and reflux and has always cried a lot more than other children.

However, the last month, the tantrums have hit full force. We are having meltdowns left right and centre. Is is also getting frustrated with so many things! Like trying to play a game, within minutes he will get angry, throw it and it will turn into a tantrum.

everything is turning into a tantrum.

TV is also a big issue for us, he only eats with the tv on, and also we use the iPad in the car for journeys as we live far out in countryside and sometimes I want to keep him awake til his nap time, but when at home he asks for it and I explain not right not,‘let’s play with your toys together, he goes crazy. Today we had one hour of crying.

I just want to know if this is normal? Sometimes I feel my friends toddlers are not this grumpy and upset. It’s like everything is always causing a tantrum and he’s constantly whiney. Is this normal? Should I speak to GP if excessive?

also good tactics to handle tantrum - currently I leave him to it, stay close by and try offer reassuring words.

im just feeling so overwhelmed and like a bad mum as I keep shouting when they last an hour.

😭

I think the screen time is scrambling his brain. They are simply too exciting for him compared with real life - the scene changes are faster, the colours are a little brighter, the sounds are all exaggerated. The iPad is training his brain to get used to that level of stimulation. The real world is slow and boring by comparison so he loses his patience more easily. Then he craves the excitement of screen time again... and the cycle repeats. This can become an addiction very easily as their brains are so malleable.

Other obvious causes of tantrums at that age are hunger or tiredness, but if it's not that then blame the screens.

You need him to quit cold turkey.

Is there any chance he is still uncomfortable from reflux or colic-type symptoms? Does it coincide with eating specific foods? Might be worth keeping an eye out on that too. When my daughter went through a grumpy phase eggs were the culprit. Other kids struggle with dairy a lot.

Offer regular snacks. Lots of opportunities to be running outdoors. Let him have a moment to be cross/sad then use distraction to move him onto something new. Try and say yes as much as you can: ie. We don't throw cars, have this ball to throw, can you get it in the bowl?
Yes it is normal, and it is just a phase - it won't last forever!

My DS is nearly 19 months and im trying to wean him off screens as well (in particular Peppa Pig) he will have a bit of a meltdown if I turn the screen off completely, but I've found it helpful if I just press the back button so there's still a picture of Peppa Pig on the screen. He'll usually point at Peppa Pig for a few seconds and then wander off and play with his toys. Then I can turn the screen off. You could try having just pictures or a book in front of him if he's eating for example, until he gets used to not having to focus on something.

Remove all screens all research has recorded detrimental impact on under 3.

The lights and movement flickering lights up part of the brain that is only developing.

Is he getting enough sleep? Fresh air and running around helps.

Hi OP. I had to comment as I felt the same as you at that age. Very similar story - my DD was a high maintenance baby - she had reflux and was very clingy and sensitive. Then the tantrums started ramping up around 18 months, and I often felt like hers were far more intense than other toddlers I saw (even though it's hard to make a fair comparison as I only saw them for part of the day). Does he communicate much yet? My DD is over two now and has drastically improved as her language has got better. Don't get me wrong - there are still tantrums over snacks and having to wear shoes outside (probably the usual toddler stuff) but much more manageable now she can express herself. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about the screen - if it gives you a bit of a break to stay calm then it's worth it for you to stay sane as a parent.

He only eats with the TV on because you put the TV on. He's not in control, you are!

(That sounded harsh but I didn't mean it to be)

another saying get rid of the iPad. My son was about 5 or 6 before he could use it at all without getting the rage afterwards.