Think this was a bit ott?

[SpinningFloppa]

Strange one and a bit petty but wondered what others thought. Yesterday my mum said she was passing by and would drop something off on her way. I was upstairs when she knocked and my son was downstairs, my son knows he isn’t allowed to answer the door unless I tell him it’s ok, so I called down and asked if he could see who it is, he said he couldn’t. I checked my doorbell app and saw it was my mum so I said it was ok to open it.
I came down and nothing bad was said my mum dropped it off and left straight away, anyway a little while later she called me and said my son was extremely rude because he opened to door and closed it when he saw her, I said he knows he isn’t suppose to open the door that’s why and she said no he definitely saw it was her. She told me I should ask him about it. I agreed with her it was rude and that I didn’t know why he would do that, I spoke to him and he said he didn’t see her and that’s why. I didn’t think much of it.

I went about my day and Later she messaged me asking me if I had spoken to him about it, I said yes and he said he didn’t see her (just telling her what he told me) she said he definitely saw her and kept going on about how rude my son is, whilst I accept it is rude and I do agree I’m not sure what she wanted me to do? She seemed very angry at what had happened and started implying it was my parenting? This was totally out of character for him not done it before so I’m not sure why she said that, she barely spends any time with him so doesn’t really know him well anyway (never looks after him or anything) she then said she “wonders how he acts in school” I have never had a bad word said about him by anyone at school, she went on to say he is my son and it’s up to me to “control him” am I wrong to think she’s blown this completely out of proportion? She is making out like he is going to grow up to be some kind of psychopath. Oh she also told me to check my ring door bell to see what happened? I’ve acknowledged it was rude and agreed with her but I wasn’t there and didn’t witness it so I’m not sure what she wanted me to do.

Wow she sounds like my mam in the sense of being waaaay ott. I find trying to turn it into a joke to be a calming effect. Say you are thinking about sending him to boarding school.

Parents can be unreal.

How old is your son?

He is 8

Bless him, he is very literal! Mum is being an arse if she can't understand 8 yo's can get confused

Completely OTT and ridiculous. Even if he had done what she said, it's not the end of the world. Slightly rude or maybe he was trying to be funny, but not something that means he is out of control or not a good kid in general.

Does your mum have form for this?

Very ott reaction.

What was she like as a mother when you were young?

@SpinningFloppa what on earth were you doing upstairs that it required checking the doorbell app on your phone rather than actually answering the door of the house you were in when it happened? Your mum said she would be passing by so why let your poor son take the heat here? She told you she was coming over and then was made to feel unwelcome. Anyone would feel hurt.
Bizarre.

I know you've alluded to this but your mum and son don't sound like they have any relationship at all. She sounds more angry at him in general and this is just one of the many things she believes he does/has done and he seems nonchalant towards her if he didn't recognise his own grandmum(?)

Your son isn't to blame but I think you are, unless there are some details you've withheld.

I also agree it's OTT just because of this but it doesn't sound like a one-off, is it?

It is rude though! He opened the door, saw his nana and then closed it again.. that's rude!

Erm I was getting dressed She messaged me as she was passing by with no notice! 🙄 if I had made her wait it would have been an issue as well

Have you read my post ? I literally agreed it was rude, I was saying I don’t know what she wants me to do about it and going on about it hours later seems extreme?

Already said in my post he’s never done it before and they don’t spend any time together alone is what I meant I’ve always been there and no I’ve never seen him be rude to her so no it’s not a pattern of behaviour and not sure where I stated it was. I had just got out the bath when she said she was passing by and would be there soon she never gave any notice so I was getting dressed I didn’t realise there was any “heat” to take 😕

Did he maybe open the door then suddenly remember he shouldn’t and shut it again? Doesn’t sound like she adds much to either your life or your sons. But stress!

That’s what I think happened tbh that he has opened it not remember he wasn’t suppose to i Completely agreed it was rude I literally never said it wasn’t and agreed with her what I don’t get is messaging me hours later calling me a bad parent

I would laugh if a child of 8 years did this to me 😂 it is kind of rude but he obviously didn't mean it! Poor kid lol I think she was embarrassed that's why

Poor you, your mum sounds a Total nightmare. Next time tell him not to bother opening it at all if it's her 🤣

Glad the more normal people are commenting! Was started to think my son was damned to a life of crime and will be in prison by the time he is 18 because he once shut the door on my mum 🙄😅

It’s not rude if he did that though. He didn’t slam the door in her face because he was angry etc. 🤦‍♀️

if I had made her wait it would have been an issue as well

Sounds like she makes an issue of everything then. Would explain why she's complaining about your parenting just from this alone.

When I read this I thought she was going to be OTT that she thought he opened the door without you and that was dangerous etc etc.
Shes being over the top. I think my mum would have found it amusing.

Thank you I checked my ring door bell as she asked me to go back and look at the footage!! Even though I thought it was extremely unnecessary, I did but of course it doesn’t show him it only shows her but I hear the door open and close almost instantly then open again, within a couple of seconds, I really don’t get what the massive issue is, but yes everything is an issue to her…

If she’s that awful time to cut contact down or even out entirely?

I wonder too if he opened it remembered he shouldn't have then shut it again. Kids so strange things, I'd not have given it a second thought, your mam is being over the top in my opinion.

She sounds massively hard work

she barely spends any time with him so doesn’t really know him well anyway (never looks after him or anything)

And her authority to be so judgemental over him and over your parenting is...?

Ignore. Let her words be as water off a duck's back.