Leaving 5 month year old.

[Kenyadad]

Could do with some perspectives here.

My son is 4.5 months old now. Me and my wife live in the u.k normally but are currently away on holiday in Kenya with her Kenyan family.

My wife is currently training to be a nurse and I work full time. In January she is due to start placement in the u.k.

We have a care plan in place for our son when we get back but we have been made another offer for my son to stay in Kenya.

Her Kenyan family are well off and more than capable of looking after our son with 2 househelps (maids/ servants). My family are also capable of providing decent support in the u.k.

Before we left my wife and I were quite certain we wanted our son to be with us. Since we arrived my wife has asked the question whether I would like to leave my son in Kenya as she feels it will make her studies easier and give us more freedom.

I can't bear to think of us leaving with him left behind.

Am I in the wrong here should I be seriously considering this offer.

Thanks.

If you wanted freedom and an easier life to study .. why did you have a baby in the first place? And this is coming from a woman who was singing her baby's leg amputation consent forms whilst completing my university degree as a 21 year old single mother. Yes studying and having a baby is hard, but you don't leave your tiny baby in another country 🤯 madness

Especially when you have childcare options in the U.K. too. I can't fathom, as a mother, how your wife could even be contemplating this.

There's a lack of understanding in the replies here as clearly cultural differences exist.
I think you, as one of the parents, given you are not comfortable about it, that's your answer. If they are a well off family then maybe they can also contribute to a significant amount of childcare in UK that would enable you to see your baby or for you to reduce hours temporarily to facilitate study.

I can only answer this anecdotally but I had a colleague whose parents did this. She was left in India while her parents built up their careers. When she was a year old her sister was born, but the DS and the second sister who came along were kept at home as their mum couldn't bear to do it again. My friend came home at 4, ripped away from her grandparents who were her primary carers, thrust into a family she didn't know well or fit into. She has never married, finds it hard to form close friendships and has resented her sisters and DPs her entire life. I really wouldn't.

whether I would like to leave my son in Kenya as she feels it will make her studies easier and give us more freedom.

Wtaf.

Lots are taking a very western approach to this response. Where I am from in Africa this is really quite normal.
Ultimately it’s about what you’d like to do as the child’s parents.

Oh and I don’t think there is anything “wrong” with your wife and all the nasty undertones implied on this thread.

I find it hard to get my head around this idea at all. Ultimately, it is about the baby and the baby needs mum and dad. It could really cause damage.

Didn't let him get taken away all back in the u.k now.

Thanks all.