I can’t stop shouting

[Distressedmammahere]

I have two young boys 7 and 5 (one has ADHD). I find myself shouting at them both a lot when they do not listen (which is most of the time). It literally comes from nowhere - an all encompassing rage.

I work full time and my DH has recently returned to shift work after a long time of office hours and I’m struggling to cope with what feels like being a single parent.

I honestly don’t know how to move forward from here - I spend all day feeling guilty for shouting at them. This isn’t the parent I wanted to be.

I can totally relate to this, I instantly feel guilty after I’ve shouted. I’m just trying to remember these feelings before I shout in the hope that it stops me! Sometimes works. Pick your battles and try and think would they listen more if you spoke or shouted, mine switch off even more when I shout

Get down to their level, look them in the eye and find a way to resolve the problem.

I used to deliberately spend more quality time with them because often they were looking for attention. Make a joke, distract them or stay calm.

A good trick have a small bean bag; person holding the bean bag can explain their side and nobody can interrupt. Then give the bag to the other person to explain their side. It calms them down, makes them realise they are being listened to and gets them to formulate their justification for whatever they are doing which gives them great debating skills. The bag is basically a distraction- if they are holding it, they aren’t punching each other!

You could even get a gavel for your “decision “.