Help me to help my 3yo who is scared of the dark

[Mamabear04]

DD just turned 3yo last month. She has been waking numerous times during the night to pee but just last night it clicked that she is asking to go to the toilet because she is scared of the dark (she is able to go to the toilet independently but will refuse to during the night and wants help). How can I help her to stop being afraid of the dark? I've been monitoring what she has been watching on TV for a while and stopped her watching anything I think might be too scary for her (including some episodes of puffin rock or duggee even!) I have taken her to IKEA and let her choose a nice night light. I've tried leaving the door open, a landing light, reassuring her during the night. Nothing seems to work. She is fine going to sleep initially and has always fallen asleep alone, in the dark since 6mo. It's the during the night wake ups that are a problem. I've tried leaving her for small periods when i think my being there is causing her to wind up but she just starts shouting "I want you mummy/daddy" and wakes the entire house (and probably our neighbours too). What else can I do? She is in my opinion very sheltered as she is not yet at nursery and is looked after by me 3 days a week and DP 2 days a week. Other things to note - I have a 5mo and she is due to start nursery in the new year so these things might (probably definitely) have added extra stress to her life (she seems excited to go to nursery but obviously she will be nervous I'm sure even if she's not saying). Please help me OPs!!!

I am confused. How dark are we talking? I think its perfectly reasonable for a 3 year old to be scared of the dark. If there are night lights etc though, then I would say she's more likely scared of something else - being left alone for example.

@Triffid1 he room isn't completely dark because of the lights. Why do you think she might be scared of being left alone when she's fine going to sleep initially? How can I help her without staying with her? I feel if I stay with her then it will teach her that there is something to be afraid of being alone. Its also not possible when I'm EBF my 5mo...

Read the owl who was afraid of the dark, better still get the bill oddy audio book.

@MrsBrandonspiano just listening to it on Spotify and it's such lovely story!

My LO has a cuddly toy with a star projector in its tummy - might she like something similar? That'd be a friend for her that chases away the dark. Ours was from Wilko. It's great (it does get through batteries, though!).

There's a book called Darkness Slipped In that I read to DD2. I think she may have been older than 3 though (I can't remember, sorry). It might help?

Have you got books about nursery? Taking it through might help underlying anxiety. We had a nice Alfie one but there are loads out there. Or you can play nurseries at home to help spell out what will be expected of her - practice sitting on the carpet to sing songs, hanging up coat on a hook, washing hands etc. Playdates with any other kids you know who are going.

Dark wise, could you get a new soft toy and say it's there to keep her safe? Worth a try. I have two dc, one feels safe with certain cuddlies, the other isn't bothered.

I know your 5mo is too young to go in with your eldest yet, but I found my DC sleep better when sharing a room, they both like the reassurance of the other one being there. We put DS in with DD at 9mo.

Can DH not take her when you are breastfeeding? Hopefully some of the suggestions here will help, mine still like a torch to take with them and they are older. I’d say it’s totally normal for her to be scared of going to the toilet in the dark alone though, plenty of adults get spooked out and she’s very small.

It's a normal phase apparently. My daughter turned 3 in August and over the past 2 week she's been scared of the dark.

She's says she's not scared of anything in particular, just that it's dark.
She's always liked to go to sleep in the dark. Nothing has changed apart from putting the tree up for Christmas.

We just keep reassuring her that there's nothing to be scared of and that Mam and Dad are always nearby.
Also talking about how we go to sleep when it's nighttime (when it's dark) as that's the best time to sleep.

My eldest was scared of the dark, better when his younger brother slept in the same room. We had bedroom door open, hall light on, light in bedroom. He admitted once that his flatmate was amused that he slept with bedroom door open and landing light on as an adult. He now has two children and the youngest is the same so often share a double bed together.

Do everything suggested on here, it all helps

I used to have a radio in my DD's room and left it on Radio 3 overnight, it seemed to really help her not to wake up to absolute silence.