My DD will be in hospital for Christmas

[lookawaynowhuns]

No point of this thread other than to rant and be upset.

My DS has severe special needs and it's been 6 days since I last saw him.

DD is on full oxygen support and tube feeds. Doesn't look like we are coming home anytime soon

My poor, sweet boy. No presents sorted. They're all in my car boot. H is at home with him but doesn't drive and we are rural!

It's a disaster. DS doesn't give a stuffing about Christmas really, he isn't interested in presents. But I wanted to spoil him, he deserves it. He's so special and important to me and now he has nothing

I am so angry and upset. This time last year DD was in hospital and I said to myself 'don't worry, next year we will all be together'

Do you have anyone that can come and drive your car home and unload then drive back?

I hope your dd improves soon

You can spoil him when you are home. Please stop worrying. You DH can give him time and love....far more important than gifts. You focus on DD, she needs you now.

Unfortunately not

And the hospital we are in is specialist so not even close to home

It's rubbish. My poor poor DS having nothing and going nowhere other than a local park for a bit, for days on end

This sounds really tough. I can only imagine how upsetting it is. Is your son aware which day Christmas Day actually is? If not could you postpone till you are all home together again and then do presents and his favourite food to celebrate?

Do you have any friends or family that would host them?

can you ask a friend, colleague, neighbour, local church etc that would come and fetch the gifts for you? even I would do it for you if I could.

im so sorry things are so tough. Maybe once you are all back home your husband could book some driving lessons? (Not sure if any health issues preventing driving of course)

Your dh will have to step up and make it as special and happy as he can. If I were your dh I would be out shopping or ordering on Amazon - just a few bits for the day.

If your DS doesn't understand when Christmas Day falls, just push it back a little bit until you can all be together. I'm sure that's what he will care about most anyway.
Hope your dd is better soon

What about your poor dd stuck in a specialist hospital? There will be other Christmases and if he's not even really aware then he's not missing out. I'm sure your dh will be looking after him and loving him and making the best of things.

Your poor, poor DD too! Poorly in hospital away from parks and presents too!

So much of my childhood was spent with siblings in hospital. And then at 14 I myself spent a month in hospital.

It's fucking hard. For the kids. The parents. The siblings. The everything and everyone.

So first off. Just here to listen to you cry, scream, let off whatever steam you need.

Your family can and will one day celebrate together. But it won't be the day others celebrate, and if it's the second year, I can imagine how much that's upsetting you.

I'm sure there are people at the hospital trying to make yours and your daughter's Xmas as good as circumstances allow. But not having your son - and not being able to make it special for him. It's plain not fair on you.

Can anyone here help beyond listening?

We’ve done Christmas before in hospital with my DD and it’s really shit. If your DS doesn’t understand then I would just do a ‘Christmas Day’ when you get home and make a big fuss then. Doesn’t help ease your worry at the time though I know. My DD did get all sorts of presents and gifts from local charities and had lots of footballers from the local teams came with presents too so they did their best to make it nice for her. She has special needs and doesn’t understand Christmas either so the whole thing is pretty overwhelming for her. But I get how you are feeling and I hope your DD gets better soon x

Another suggesting you do Christmas Day when home and settled. We always did this when kids were young as I would always work Xmas Eve/Xmas/Boxing day so we would just pick another convenient day. Works really well when they are young. Might admit we did it for the odd kids birthday as well 😁.

I feel more sorry for your DD to be honest. She sounds really unwell. Your DH can step up & make things special for DS. I’d concentrate your efforts on DD right now.

It sounds like a horrible situation for all of you. Is it possible you can delay Christmas and do it when you will be able to be home again? How long will that be? Is there not even a bus route? Surely your dh could go out today or tomorrow to pick up a few cheap bits? I'm sure if he spoke to a member of staff in a toy shop they could pack some bits in bags so your son doesn't see and dh will just have to pay for it.

DD is very unwell. I'm just detailing my own thoughts I suppose by concentrating on silly Christmas

Although 25th December was picked for our Christmas celebrations... it probably isn't actually Jesus's birthday. Other places/cultures celebrate Christmas on other days.

Any day you choose for your family Christmas celebration might actually be the birthday.

Spoil your boy on that day and have an amazing time.

You can never start planning something like this too soon - so please let your mind wander away from hospital bleeps and on to how it can be the very best day ever.

All well wishes from here to you and your DD in the strange timless bubble you have to inhabit for now.