How do you handle siblings small toys around baby?

[MickeyMouseShithouse]

DD 3yo is at an age where she wants a nice doll house set, a Barbie castle, Lego ect.. but I also have a 8month old. We have a playroom which they share as I don’t allow toys in the bedroom (books only) - she alternates between plying downstairs and playing upstairs in the playroom throughout the day - I also work from home so while I’m taking a call I put the baby in the playroom (there’s cameras so I can still watch him) - so I don’t feel like I should keep DD small toys in the playroom, but I also don’t want them in her bedroom.

Would it be mean to ‘lock’ them away in a Tupperware and put them up then only get them down while I’m in the room too, or while DS isn’t in the playroom with her?
I’m paranoid about him choking on small toys 😅

Yes, that is mean. Why isn't she allowed toys in her bedroom? I've got similarly aged children - DD1 is allowed to play with things with small bits on the kitchen table or in her room, but not anywhere else. We treat her room as her private space where she can play by herself - DD2 isn't allowed in there unless invited. Bedroom = sanctuary, why isn't she allowed to play in hers?

How can you effectively work from home and look after an 8 month old?

I think that’s fine. I have a 5,2 and 1 year old. We avoid things with really small bits in the playroom, like lego but have lego duplo instead (it’s much better for a 3 year old anyway and a baby can still play with it). Anything that has small pieces or is a choking risk, like playdoh is only gotten out when I’m there to keep an eye on the 1 year old. So they’re not allowed to have it out whilst I’m cooking dinner etc and it’s kept on a high shelf in the playroom.

I don't think it's fair that your daughter misses out on age appropriate toys because you're WFH-

I really can't see how you're watching two small children and on work calls (as someone who has children with a similar age gap).

@MolliciousIntent if I let me DDs have toys in their bedroom (they have teddys and books in there only) they would never go to bloody sleep or would be up playing at 5am.

When dd2 was too small to be around the tiny bits, dd was only allowed them in her bedroom/spare room upstairs where dd2 couldn't access them. Does sound like you need two play spaces however i too wonder how you can work safely whike caring for a baby, and how safe your little one really is.

That's a behavioural issue though. The vast majority of children have toys in their rooms and manage to sleep at night. Unless ND you should be able to crack that pretty quickly by just parenting them.

As you see, you can’t supervise small kids (let alone a baby!) while working. Leaving a baby alone sounds quite neglectful.

One obvious solutions - the big one can keep her special toys on her bedroom (why not?).

When she’s playing with them and the baby is around, she can go in a playpen so the baby can’t get to her.

@MolliciousIntent Wow, judgy much. As it so happens DD1 is autistic and takes 2/3 hours to fall asleep, toys would just cause further problems. But some children are just poor sleepers, take a while to settle or are early risers, regardless of how they’re parented. I’m know plenty of parents who have NT children, like my SIL, who don’t allow toys in the bedroom as the children have a playroom and they prefer the bedroom to be a calm place for sleep only. That’s not a parenting issue, it’s just a choice. If they have a playroom for playing like my DC, or the OPs, then they don’t need to play in their bedrooms.

I cannot imagine why anyone might stop a child playing with toys in their bedroom - has your DD invited the king for tea?

Use small toys at dining table.

I only have 1 child. But things with smaller parts, craft, play dough, puzzles I only let him do at the dining table. Stops him loosing parts, stops us standing on them, and easier to stop them being spread metres away if small.

DD1 is nearly 7, DD2 is 18mo. We don’t have a playroom, so baby toys are in the living room, and DD1’s toys, including small things, are in her bedroom. It does take a fair bit of effort to stay on top of the tidying, and we have to be careful not to bring too much stuff into the flat (small space living problems!) but it’s doable.

it sounds like you either need to look at dividing the playroom into zones (maybe with a stair gate?) or get used to supervising them in there more.

Coming from a mum of 7, we’ve always kept things like Lego up out the way, then got them down whenever the older kids ask, but they have to play in thier room or at the table with them out of the toddlers and babies reach. Never had an issue.

Her bedroom is for quiet time and sleeping - it’s her area where she can go when she’s overstimulated to read books in her ‘cosy corner’ and wind down, we’re adding a table and chairs so she can also go there to calm down after tantrums and do some drawing/colouring - but ultimately we avoid toys in the bedroom. She does occasionally drag her building block into her room; which is fine but once she’s finished they get packed up and taken back to the playroom.

She goes to nursery, in only recently back off maternity leave and she goes twice a week (or did) for the rest of the year then she’ll go 4 days a week next year - I haven’t decided whether to put DS in nursery yet; my employers extremely supportive and never discourage how I work around family. I’m really very lucky to have the job I do - Calls are limited, especially this time of year and I mostly diagnose technical issues and answer emails.

I had a similar age gap and taught my ds1 that anything small like marbles or Lego boys had to be put back in the Tupperware if he wasn’t using them. I also had a playpen for ds2 until he could stand as that helped. It’s mean to have things locked away so she can’t play with them, but she can begin to understand that certain things aren’t for babies and they can’t be near them and we must keep them safe.

DS is always watched; he’s left to play longer in the playroom while I’m folding and putting away laundry or bathing DD than he is while I’m on a 2 minute call. We always have the cameras on and the room is child proof obviously 🙈

You’re putting a lot of faith in cameras.

@CallMeBubbleDarling a playpen could be a good solution; we have talked about getting one downstairs as we’ve moved into an open plan house and now he’s walking with his Walker, and a super fast crawler he’s constantly off into the kitchen wandering about 😂 I love that he’s a little explorer.. but every 5 minutes I’m getting up to being him back because he’s crawling under the dining chairs or pulling bottles of wine out of the rack🙈

Ok so first thing, I have always worked from home with kids (and know A LOT of other parents who have too) - it's absolutely fine.

Second thing, have you tried talking to your eldest about not having small toys out and about where the youngest can reach them? There's a similar age gap between my friends kids and the four year old is obsessed with marble run but obviously they're terrified the one year old will eat a marble and choke. The eldest is very good at keeping an eye on them and making sure the youngest doesn't touch them as he knows the risks. A play pen is a good idea too, or putting the youngest in another room with age appropriate toys rather than in the playroom?

@LittleBearPad well yes, like we do for bedtime. Are baby monitors for.. monitoring?

as said, he’s never left for more than maybe 5 or so minutes (usually about that long when bathing DD as I can’t leave her in the bath alone)

I feel like I’m about to be lynched for leaving DS in a child friendly and safe room for a few minutes in the day - which doesn’t happen often anyway as he’s happy to play downstairs, or nap/have a milk while I’m on a call.. or I just warn whoever’s on the phone that they may hear some background chattering from him 😂

@123woop She is pretty good, she knows not to let him have small toys ect, and often if she does leave something on the floor and he goes for it she’ll take it off him - I just don’t quite feel comfortable with almost relying on her/trusting her to not leave the small bits out around him yet as I don’t think she quite gets what might happen if he does put it in his mouth.

I think a playpen is going to be our best bet 🤭

A sleeping baby is very different to one that’s awake and ‘exploring’.

We do a mixture. Lego only allowed at the table. Some toys only come out when toddler is in bed or otherwise busy. Some toys that they both like just have a couple of little bits so we just hide those as they aren't missed. Other toys we just let the younger one play with while we supervise.

Your childcare does sound unsustainable, I'd highly recommend putting the baby in nursery on your working days for many reasons for both your sakes.