Something different about my baby - intuition or imagined?

[Namechanged654]

This feels like such a bizarre thing to say, but please bear with me.

My second son is a year old. He's a cheerful, easygoing little thing - everyone remarks on how laid back he is. AFAIK, he's meeting all his milestones and doing everything he's supposed to do. We had a health scare with him a few months ago over suspected seizures but investigations were normal and we've given the all-clear.

The night he was born, I was overcome with this sense that there was something different about him. I pushed it out of my mind because I assumed it was post-birth hormones and, having suffered with PND before, I didn't want to go down that train of thought. But a year on, and I still get that feeling. I can't put my finger on it, there's just something about him that feels different, maybe even slightly uncanny?

I'm actually starting to wonder if it's indicative of some postnatal MH problem, or could it be that I'm picking up on something very subtle? Is this familiar to anyone, or do I sound barking mad?

My uncanny, calm, other worldly, extremely alert baby was diagnosed as autistic at three and is still all of these things as a 10 year old.

I know exactly what you mean, OP. My second son was like this, both of my boys were breast feed and looking into my second sons eyes, was completely different to my first.

When he was a toddler, we had a new cleaner start, she said after meeting him she said he’s been here before hasn’t he.

When he was about 3 and a half we were in a shop, the assistant started chatting to him and asked him his name, he looked really confused and said his late GF name, but they call me (his name). Really very odd GF had died many years ago, we would talk about him from time to time and we only ever called him grandad, never by his name.

My son is grown up now, and is one of the wisest people I know, so perhaps old souls do exist.

It's possible to have a bright wise child who is not ND! My children could read before starting school (self taught) and were very articulate, still are. No signs of neurodiversity. Stop looking for problems and just enjoy the child.

@rattlemehearties to be clear, I'm not looking for problems and I don't necessarily think he's ND! I started this thread more to find out whether any other parents had a similar experience of sensing that their child is different in some way at a very (very) early stage. I was expecting to be told that I sounded a bit mad but it seems I'm not alone.

Who said being neurodivergent was a problem?

Yes, I thought that was an unnecessarily angry (and ableist) response too…

@TYpi I quite agree!

I felt like this about DS when he was born. It was very clear to me that something was up but I wasn't sure what. I had been a parent for a long time so I was very familiar with newborn behaviour. To cut a long story short, he is ND. He has autism and combined type ADHD plus SPD and APD. All these things made perfectly sense in the first end and explained a lot.

Good Lord I'm not sure what happened with my typing there, it meant to say "all these things made perfect sense in the end" 🙄

I wonder if you've convinced yourself of something a bit 'woo' and you're now looking for validation in things your baby does? I say this understanding what you mean. My DD was born the day my best friend lost her life to cancer. She's 5 now and very bright and I find myself chattering away to her and she does things or replies in ways that make me stop in my tracks as they remind me of my late friend. But I also think I'm looking for that as the timings have always felt very significant to me

So my DS was definitely an old soul. When he was in reception or year 1 he hurt himself and went crying to the teacher explaining to her that the nerve endings in his leg were sending messages to his brain that he was hurt. Oh how she laughed when she told me that. He also used to call me by my first name rather than mum or mummy and when I asked him why he said - because mummy is what you do and jewel is your name. He was about 3. He was always coming out with stuff like that.

He didn't do very well at school but at university seemed to find his niche and is now working in an interesting job.

I had a really odd feeling about my DD2. I kept telling people something was wrong, but I was ignored. She now is on the autism pathway and is very high needs and tricky. People kept saying it was colic or some other excuse but I knew from day one. She's absolutely amazing, but different.

@rhowton i can so relate to what you’ve written

I’ve only read your OP.
No one online can possibly tell you, of course.
But I was convinced there was something abnormal about my babies eye contact from very very early on (and spent long hours internet researching). Everyone told me he was perfectly fine and I ended up with PNA. He now has an autism diagnosis and it’s obvious to everyone.
So whilst anxiety can make us imagine problems that aren’t there, I do think mums have good instincts and may be anxious because they perceive things other people miss.
So seek medical advice and keep asking if you feel they are fobbing you off.

I had exactly the same thing with DS2. The second he looked into my eyes and all around him, it was as if he'd been here before and was checking it all out again.

DS1 came out angry and shrieking and I said "he's brand new!". DS2 emerged and the first thing I said was "he's been here before".

He was also diagnosed with auditory processing disorder, but so far it hasn't held him back in any way. He also has an incredible ability to read people, and has done for a young age. He's also always seemed to be more emotionally mature and has just always been easy natured. He's now 8 and thriving.

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry, I’ve commented on the wrong post and I’m not sure how to delete this!!! I’m so sorry 🤦🏼‍♀️ X

It does make sense that you would notice as his mother. Animals have an instinct about difference, so likely we do too.

My friend has a neurodiverse child that always went along with whatever was happening, never complained, extremely easy and content child. Until his teens that is.

So maybe that?

I felt like this with my DD, I remember discussing it with both my Health visitor and GP who put it down to post natal anxiety. DD is now 3 and has just been diagnosed as autistic. I have no idea if the two are connected or it's just coincidence but looking at this thread, it seems it's quite common.

Op go easy on yourself. Maybe a part of his soul has been here before? Maybe he is a special old soul? Either way he's your gorgeous brand new baby to love and cherish. And it doesn't matter that you had that feeling. Some people do get those feelings, and they can be a bit heightened during pregnancy. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It's called intuition. Just relax into it, keep an open mind, and enjoy your baby.

It's so interesting to see how many others can relate to this - I genuinely thought I was going to be told that I was imagining things.

Like all children, he's his own unique self and I can't wait to see who he'll grow to be. Maybe he's ND, maybe he's not, or maybe he's just a quirky little soul with some serious Old Man energy. Regardless, you're all reassuring me that this sense that he's a bit different might not be all in my head after all!

Maybe I should return to this thread in a few years with an update?!

Please do report back later that would be so interesting. He sounds adorable