Hi everyone. I know this board is called MumsNet, but it seemed like a welcoming place and it was one of the most appealing parenting forums I've found, so I hope a Dad being here is ok!
I'm unfortunately here for some concerns I have with my son. Age adjusted to account for his early birth, he would've just turned 10 months old. However, even with this adjustment, there seems to be a lot of things he's missing/not doing socially that are causing me to have some big concerns.
He is my first child so I don't really have much to judge from, but of course Google already has it set in my mind that he has autism. Another thing worth mentioning is that when he was about 4 months old to about 7 months old, he definitely watched way more TV than a baby should.. he had sitters who would keep YouTube kids videos on for long periods of time, and although he didn't watch them nonstop uninterrupted (he would play in between), I still wonder if that may have done something negative with social development...
So just in general, he is a very busy baby. He is always looking at his surroundings, always exploring toys, always trying to be on the move. He's overall pretty happy. Doesn't have much problems sleeping, eats fine, loves toys, laughs and smiles time to time, etc. He likes our cats, he knows certain songs, he smiles at certain toys. He has never had any of the "standout" red flags, he loves to be held, he doesn't appear to have any major sensory issues, he doesn't use his tip toes when we help him walk around, eye contact can be spotty but is there, he doesn't hyper fixate on one toy or thing. However despite all that, I sadly feel like we are secondary in his life sometimes.
He has pretty much none or at least very very poor joint attention and can't follow my gaze. It's extremely rare that he will look at an item and then look back at me, and back and forth. If I'm carrying him around the house and say an object name and point to it (finger very close to item), he will look at it for a few seconds. But if I point to something further away or gaze at something, he will not follow either. He also has never looked at something and tried to get my attention to get it for him, no pointing, etc. He seems like he's always either completely fixed on the object or on me, but doesn't make a connection that I can get the item for him. He has never shown us a toy when asked, engaged in traditional play with us, tried to do peek a boo back to us. etc. He cries when he wants something or is unhappy, but he has never really tried to point or communicate anything to us yet about what he wants. My wife just chalks all this up to him being more independent minded than most babies, which I suppose is possible, but to me I just wonder.
His eye contact is also so/so. He does make it, and it doesn't appear forced when he does it, but it can be very fleeting. There are rare moments where he'll look into your eyes for long periods of time, like when he's taking a bottle from you or you're singing to him, and maybe some other times. His smiling is also questionable. It's somewhat rare that I can get him to smile without having an interaction with him such as peek a boo or making a big silly face or sound at him, and this didn't always used to be the case (although he will sometimes give a big smile to new people when they enter our house).
When he's not too into his toys, he responds to his name or your voice maybe half the time. He does babble a good deal, but it's not always directly to us. His imitation is very hit or miss. He has waved before, but only properly a handful of times, and he will stop doing it for days at a time. With sounds, he will rarely but sometimes repeat sounds right back to us, he will usually hear them being said and just start making the sounds on his own later. If he sees one of us hit/scratch/touch a surface, that is probably the most successful way he will imitate.
As for positive, he is very receptive to anticipation games. He likes peek a boo, countdowns to being lifted in the air (1..2...3!), and recently his new thing is he loves when we chase him around and announce "I'm gonna get you!", so there is definitely some good word/voice recognition there. He even started coming to look for me sometimes if I hide behind a chair in our dining room, and gets excited when our eyes meet. He will also peek out and look for me if I duck and hide next to his crib. If he's in his playpen or crib and wants to get out, he will crawl over to where we are standing. Certain words and sounds I make get him to giggle too.
I actually compiled a YouTube video of what I see as some of his best/most engaged moments of the last month or so. Feel free to let me know what you think of it if you'd like, maybe you'll tell me I'm crazy and should have no concerns whatsoever!
So if you made it this far, thanks for reading this neurotic, anxious dad's ramble...
Also this is in no way meant to be offensive to anyone with ASD or a child with ASD. I have a sibling with profound, level 3 ASD, and I love her very much... however that genetic link is one of the reasons I am a little more concerned (I've read some people say a child having an aunt/uncle with ASD makes no difference but others say it could double their chances of having it).