Baby doesn't sleep

[bakewellbride]

Is anyone else awake?

My nearly 9 month old doesn't sleep well at night and I'm struggling to continue with the nights. I'm currently stood in my baby's room with tears streaming down my face. I am struggling so much and am so tired every day. I absolutely hate it and cry so much.

I'm so sorry. Not getting sleep/having a baby who won't settle is so stressful.
It will get better.

God I'm sorry, it's the worst when it goes on and on. I've been there with tbh e desperation and the tears.

Where is the baby's dad? How do you share the night wakes? When do you get time off the baby to have a lay in/catch up?

Thanks to you both.

The baby's dad is out on a night shift so it's just me.

Handhold OP. It’s so tough

Could you try co sleeping tonight if it’s just the two of you. Then book a GP appointment to rule out any medical issues and put a plan in place to give you some decent rest before you tackle the sleeping.

I hope things improve soon

Hi op, right there with you with a cluster feeding 3 week old who can't stand being put down for longer than 5 minutes. It's not easy but it doesn't last forever. Do you have anyone who can come and mind the wee one during the day so you can sleep or overnight? I know I feel a lot better about things if I can even fit in an hour or two of rest in the day at some point. Can you sleep for a few hours during the day when dad gets home at some stage? Can your husband use any annual leave or overtime to be home a little more to give you a break even if it's temporary for a day or two if you're really struggling? Big hand hold from me, I was sitting crying at 3am last night feeling the same way, you're not alone xx

Hi just wanted to reach out and say you’re not alone. My nearly 6 month old is the same. Wakes every 1-2 hours and refuses his cot now. My partner has slept on sofa for the last month so I can bed share with him so at least can get some sleep in between frequent feeds. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is a torture method. Follow Lyndsey hookway sleep specialist for positive sleep info. I really hope it gets better soon, try and look after yourself and seek support from friends / family if you can.

I’m here too OP, up crying because my 9 month old doesn’t sleep for any longer than 3 hours at a time and also now wakes every time I put her back down at night. I went to bed at 22:30 and we’ve been up since 23:50

I’ve no idea how I’m meant to go back to work in March. It’s my own fault though, I fed to sleep, her naps are contact naps etc. All the other mums in my mother and baby group can put their kids down and they go to sleep. I didn’t think it was wrong at the time but I’m starting to think I’ve really fucked up and I feel so incredibly bad at all of this.

I'm up too with a 9 month old who does like to sleep 🥱

It's so hard. At one stage I used to have a small ikea cot by the side of our bed so I could stick a hand through the bars to offer some comfort but be still dozing in bed if I was that tired and knew she didn't need feed/nappy just settling. She learned to sleep in the end.

I know how horrific this is for you 😔. I've been there. Can someone give you a good day time sleep? It will help you feel less emotional and more able to deal with it the following night.

One of my children broke the cycle by cosleeping one night. She was so chronically overtired that she was struggling to sleep and once she got a good night's sleep it clicked for her. She went from about an hours sleep a night to all night. With all of mine I found that the more day time sleep they had the better night was. What's their napping routine like?

Up with 8 month old. She’s a terrible sleeper. Just sat next to her cot stroking her back atm. Her twin sister doesn’t sleep through but does go longer stints, wakes less frequently and self settles. I’ve never treated them any differently. So that might give you some reassurance that it’s nothing you’ve done. I’d be cosleeping if I just had the one kid! Sending sympathy OP

You’ve done nothing wrong! Those are all developmentally normal things. Your friends are lucky/exaggerating/lying or they’ve done some sleep training. Sleep training doesn’t lead to less wake ups, just leads to a baby not seeking mum when it does wake up.

Currently here also in tears with my 15 month old who has regular split nights. He's been up since 2:30 and so t go back down. Has done this 3 nights in a row now and I'm poorly- so no chance for me to recover.

I'm here with you, nearly 9 month old doesn't sleep either. Prefers to sleep on us, often refuses cot. We do try to persist with it but generally end up Co-sleeping for the second part of the night - if only that meant he actually slept! No, he still wakes every few hours, sometimes more frequently 🥲 Saves me getting up though. He's always been refluxy so I suspect it is that.

Sympathies, wide awake in the night is the worst.

Also ill here with the dreadful non Covid cough and keep waking DS with my coughing 😣

Morning all, thank you so much for all the messages of support last night. I managed to get a few hours in the end and am currently drinking a huge coffee so I can survive taking both kids (I also have a 4 year old) to softplay. I hope you're all ok today x.

@Pollywoddles you've not done anything wrong, well done for meeting your child's needs.

@bakewellbride I have no idea how I would cope with another child. Fair play!

Thanks everyone for the support, nice to we’re not alone. Doesn’t help that we’ve had to move in with my mother as we’re having house renovations and she’s always going on about what a bad sleeper my baby is and making ‘helpful’ suggestions.

Hopefully things will settle down soon for all of us.

*to know we’re not alone

Good you got a few hours in the end! Well done on braving soft play!! 😬
DS stated awake from about 2.30-5 , wide awake chatting away 🤦🏻‍♀️. I refuse to do sleep training so although I feel broken I guess can’t complain?!
ugh don’t you love those ‘helpful’ comments - smile sweetly and let it go over your head!

You most definitely are allowed to complain. It’s shit! And sleep training isn’t for everyone. I attempted a week with my first and gave up because the crying was so horrendous. He woke every three hours until he was about 20 months and then just suddenly started sleeping all night. I most definitely won’t be sleep training my twins.

There are things you can do that aren’t sleep training that might make some difference. As another PP recommended, check out Lyndsey Hookway on IG; she talks about the realities of baby sleep while suggesting things. Like habit stacking. She’s also got some info on split nights which might be worth a read.