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Parenting

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I don't know what to do.......

5 replies

fernando123 · 16/12/2022 22:42

Me and ex partner spilt about 2 months ago when our little boy was 5 months old.. I don’t even know where to start why we split up but he’s very Narcissistic and manipulative towards me.. I’ve spent the last 2 months heartbroken by what has happened and he still is constantly wrecking my head when I have our little boy to look after on my own..
I let him see our son in the week and he has few hours on a Sunday with him..
I don’t have problem with him spending time with our son but he doesn’t come the times he has agreed and he constantly keeps me sat waiting hours after the time he has said.. (when I need to sort my son for bedtime)
I don’t want him to have him overnight as he’s too young and I’m still breastfeeding.. he still wakes a lot in the night and I’d like him to have routines and feel secure with me, He keeps saying soon he can have him overnight but I don’t want that yet!
My ex is constantly wrecking my head and making out I’m crazy he rings me and says things and acts ways to provoke and upsets me and then makes little comment like he’s recording me and writing things down like he’s going to use things against me to take my son!
He will watch me sob and react because of things he has said or done and doesn’t care in the slightest he will watch me and act calm like I’m just being crazy!
I’ve done nothing but try my very best for our son to be the best mum I can be! I’ve done it all on my own so far and he’s breaking me down!
He has a child from a previous relationship the child’s mum had a break down, is an alcoholic and suffers with her mental health and due to this she is not allowed to see her daughter.. (This could be partly because of him I don’t know)
I don’t know what to do with him I can’t get away from him because of our son.. hes 33 and im 25 he just feels like a bully he didn’t used to be like this at the beginning.. I’m not sure what is going to happen I just want to feel strong and well for my boy so I can be the best I can for him..

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 16/12/2022 22:51

Is there a court order? Is he on the birth certificate? Is he paying CM?

Emmamoo89 · 16/12/2022 22:52

With you breastfeeding still he has no right to demand to have him over night x

VivaVivaa · 16/12/2022 22:55

Block his number and potentially change yours.
State all communication will be via email (for paper trail) going forward.
Keep it completely factual, zero emotion.
Set out when and where you are expecting him to see your son (is there the option of somewhere neutral?)
Log every time he’s late or misses seeing him.
Speak to police if he keep’s harassing you on your phone when you’ve told him not to.
Then get legal advice. I suspect you are going to need court involvement with this, if you haven’t already. Is he paying you CM for example?
There is close to zero chance of a breastfed 7 month old being taken from its mother overnight, so I would put that lower down your worry list.

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fernando123 · 16/12/2022 22:57

MolliciousIntent · 16/12/2022 22:51

Is there a court order? Is he on the birth certificate? Is he paying CM?

There's no court order.. he is on the birth certificate and he pays a small amount towards him

OP posts:
TalkToTheHand123 · 16/12/2022 23:49

Try stay strong @fernando123 . It sounds like you are doing great considering what you have to deal with. Try be smart and not react or show you are upset. Explain calmly as best you can why his timekeeping is important. Consider giving him a few reminders in advance to try improve it and he may so you stop.

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