Mum mode

[SnappyDragony]

Hi everyone, need some advice please.
My LO is 2.5 and I am constantly in "mum mode"; you know, do they need feeding/nap/nappy change/cuddle/insert toddler related here?
I work part time, DH full time. LO is in nursery whilst I work. My problem is I struggle to switch off the mum mode part of me once LO is in bed. Is this normal?
My relationship with DH is solid but I'm struggling to still be the other parts of myself that aren't related to being a mother of a small child. Does this get better? Is this now my mindset forever? I would kinda like a little of myself back lol.
Disclaimer: LO is NT and a pretty easy child and DH is a good parent/husband.
Thanks x

How are you still in mum mode when the kid is in bed, what does that look like?

DH and I take it in turns to do bedtime - the person not doing bedtime cleans up the house, and then when the kids are asleep and the house is clean it is Our Time. Drinks, whatever we want on TV, music, reading, sex... The kids are out of sight out of mind.

I was going to ask the same question - what does it look like? Do you wipe DH’s nose? 😂

I think I can kind of relate. I find it difficult to wind down generally (always have done) and after kids are in bed, am thinking of jobs, doing jobs etc

I just struggle to switch off. 1st and only child, no other practice with other children before. Just knowing I'm on call as it were. Can't seem to be the woman I was pre kids 😕

This is it. The difficulty switching off.
God no would not wipe DHs anything 😂😂😂

Maybe you and DH need to agree to take it in turns to be "on call" so that half the time you are actually, totally off duty.

That said tho, Im definitely on call every evening (breastfed baby) but I still feel able to relax when she's in bed. Are you feeling anxious?

Thanks for the reply. Yup definitely an anxious person, I love a worry. Also OCD but that only rears it's ugly head when I'm particularly stressed.
DH is pretty hands on and we take it in turns doing bedtimes, baths, dinner, play times and what not. I just think I'm a little lost in the whirlwind of parenting right now, and then feel worse when I think about the fact that many women do it with more than one.

I used to feel like this. It passes with time too

Book marking. I have the same issue! I have 2 and actually it got better with a second as don't have the same energy to devote to being stressed. However Its still a theme. I miss who I was before I had kids.

It fades over time, I think the last vestiges went when littlest dc started school. Before that age it's probably normal, maybe even a good thing? You have to be fairly responsive and ready to go with a toddler I think.

Thank you for the messages and reassurances x

What would you have done before you had your child? Did you have any hobbies/interests? I go out two evenings a week to classes and we try to have a film night on a Friday because we always used to enjoy going to the cinema. Sounds like you maybe need to just plan some things to do in the evening to help your mind switch off?

I feel very much the same. No advice, but just a bit of sympathy.