Expectations if dp loses his job

[CherryBomb87]

Hey,

I'm a sahm with an almost 2 year and a 5 month old and, my dp is the sole earner at the moment. He's just lost his job.

What would your expectations be? Would you expect him to help with the kids? For how much of the day? Would you expect him to need a grieving period for the loss of his job? How long for?

TIA

I'd be expecting him to find the next available job sharpish. He doesn't have time for navel gazing and grieving for his job.

Is you returning to work a realistic prospect? Needs must and all that.

I’d expect him to find a job ASAP, or for him to become the SAHP if you have better prospects for employment than him.

If both of you are at home you should be sharing the parenting equally.
Its parenting, not helping!!

If he was a SAHD and you lost your job would you be “helping” him?

One of you needs to get a job asap. He doesn’t have the luxury of “grieving”, he’s got a family to support.

I’d sit down together with a spreadsheet this weekend and go through finances with a fine tooth comb and make cut backs wherever you can. I’d expect him to spend several hours a job hunting with a vengeance and to pitch in with the house and the kids for all of the other hours.

If you can get a job quicker than he can I’d look for that too and he can watch the kids while you work.

Have you got savings? Is he planning to sign on?

He hasn't got much time for "grieving" for his old job, a day or two at most to shake himself off and pick himself up. After that, I'd expect him to be actively looking and applying for work during the day, and/or looking at other ways to generate money in the short term. Also he could be looking at ways to reduce your outgoings.

He can be looking after the children around that, but jobhunting and applications would be a priority for me given that you have no income at the moment.

Did he get redundancy? Did he get a period of notice? Is the expectation that he go back to work? I think the expectation should be 50/50 for home and kids when you aren't working - you don't get time off from that unfortunately!

Presumably he's been made redundant rather than sacked? So no reflection of him and his capabilities. So one day of wallowing when he gets the news then he dusts himself off and cracks on.

Wow,

op, I’d look at how to proceed, should you work, should he, how much Ie full time part time etc should one stay at home, likely hood of succes in getting a job etc and then go forward with your plan,

He doesn’t need to grieve for his job. Nobody has died. His focus now should be on getting a new job. While he’s not working he can spend more time looking after his kids. It’s a time of transition for him and he should be positive about it.

Its depends on your circumstances. Did he get fired? Did he get redundancy? Have got got savings? I'm not expecting an answer go these but for you to think about.

Also, I think you both have responsibility to look for work like both share responsibility to take care of the house and children.

Are you on maternity leave?

I would expect him to go down somewhere which is pretty much guaranteed employment whatever the salary (where I am is courier or kitchen work) to bring home money straight away whilst looking for a permanent position.

I should have said, he's been paid notice so we have income for another few months and while I love being home with the kids (although it's really hard work - we don't have any support nearby) I would of course go back to work if we needed it.

I'm not on maternity leave, it's a long story but I was pushed out of my job during maternity leave (in a cruel but legal way).

Job applications are ridiculous these days. I was forced out during maternity this year (hefty settlement but it did ruin the last while of my leave as im the higher earner), I spent about 3 hours a day doing bloody applications. In the end I was headhunted and that was the role that suited us best. So no time for wallowing, but he does need time for these applications. Good luck!

Knowing how job hunting is at the moment I'd allow him the weekend to wallow then Monday is on 50/50 parenting and job hunting for about 3 hours a day.

Eh? I would expect him be frantically job hunting and when he's not doing that parenting the kids.

Awful timing with Christmas but I'd definitely expect CV sprucing and signing up for job alerts to start on Monday. I got made redundant about 10 years ago, I had three months savings so took a few days to get my head together and then started applying and interviewing straightaway.

In the meanwhile I'd expect 50:50 parenting and 50:50 housework.