Would you have found this helpful?

[Babbyblue]

Hi everyone

I’m a midwife in NHS
In the future I’d like to do some kind of private work, potentially antenatal and postnatal care.
If there was a service near you where, in the early days (say first 6 weeks) someone would come to you for a few hours (up to you how long) and help you out with housework, cook you a meal, help you with breastfeeding, or simply hold the baby whilst you go to bed, would this have been of interest to you? I would also potentially offer an overnight shift where you and partner go to bed and I’d simply bring baby to you if breastfeeding but otherwise let you sleep.
Probably wouldn’t be a cheap option, maybe £20 an hour or something.
I know myself how hard the early days can be, but didn’t know if this was something someone would actually look for.
Thanks

I don’t think I would but isn’t this what postnatal doulas do? Or night nannies?

Yes basically!
but hoping to do some additional private midwife stuff at some point down the road too, but wondering if offering something like this too would be sought after. I’d be hoping I can give postnatal support and advice in this role
i would offer on ad hoc basis rather than a fixed contract as (im maybe incorrectly assuming) night nannies have?

Yes, my friend used something like this, especially for help with her older DC (school run etc) while she was looking after the new baby. I think it was advertised as 'mother's help'.

I don't think it's something I'd personally consider (for more than one reason) but do think that there would be some women who would jump at something like this.

I would have loved this but I wouldn't be able to afford the £20 an hour, maybe most wouldn't

Would you share what the reasons are? If they’re not too personal of course. I would like to consider different view points and barriers, think it would be helpful. 😊

I had my second and third child in Germany and this is what they do here. Covered by health insurance so available (in theory) to everybody. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get a midwife either time because they are really in short supply. But my friends who had their first baby here found it really helpful. Although from the way they talked I do sometimes think they took the midwife's word as gospel and didn't trust themselves

The midwife visits a few times in the first few days after birth, up to about 6 weeks. Then they are on call up to (12 or 24 months, I think) for a certain number of times if you have any questions about sleep, development, feeding, minor illnesses etc. So they will offer sleep support, reassurance, breast/bottle/solids feeding advice, and the kind of minor medical advice that a pharmacist might give - over the counter remedies (often natural/homeopathic remedies here, actually), when to worry about a rash/temperature etc.

Although I can see what you mean about ad hoc availability, I think what you'll find is if people have to pay £20 for a piece of advice that they will look elsewhere and put off contacting you. But you could offer something like the "IBCLC In My Pocket" package like Lucy Ruddle offers, which is a certain number of text queries up to a certain age point for a flat fee. When somebody has paid upfront, they will probably feel like they want to use it. Also, from working in baby shops, there is an extremely clear pattern where people are very willing to pay for things (products, services, etc) while still pregnant in the sense of preparing, but once the baby is actually born they tend to become very frugal. I don't know whether that's a psychological thing because a lot of the stuff you buy in advance is such a waste or whether it's due to lower income on maternity leave and feeling the pinch. But from a business point of view, you will get more takers if you offer X number of consults on a flexible timescale for X-times £20 than if you price individual consults on a pay as you go basis.

Yes, I would absolutely have paid for this kind of service when DD was a baby (DH back at work, breastfeeding round the clock, unsettled baby, no sleep, no family near by, borderline pnd, finding it very difficult to look myself properly).

The challenge might be managing your schedule - it's the kind of thing new parents probably won't know they need until they need it iyswim, and once I realised how much I needed help, I would have cried down the phone to you if you said you couldn't fit me in for a month!

Just to add, we did actually pay for ad hoc help from a nanny a few times, just to give me an hour or two respite. Buy somehow it wasn't a great fit - I think what I needed was someone to look after both my baby AND me in (to use a wanky phrase) a more holistic way. I guess a bit like a really great mother would look after her daughter and baby grandchild.

You have hit then nail on the head here and this is exactly what I want to do. I find I can only help in my current role on quite a clinical level but really would like to extend this to help holistically, and taking care of you would help you take care of baby!

Yes and we would happily have funded it. We had twins with a just turned two year old at home - we decided to throw as much as we could at the first weeks and year and focus on getting through that in decent shape.

We couldn't find anyone locally so ended up with a permanent nanny earlier than we would have expected. She has been fabulous, but I'd have preferred to be able to separate out the first bit from my maternity period, because I then ended up feeling there was no reason not to go back to work and needed to fund the longer term.

I had twins and I would have used this.

As someone who has no family support near by, I think a service like this would be amazing and I 100% would have used it

It's a nice idea but personally I wouldn't use it. I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old and Iv never had an occasion where I can't cook a meal quickly or needed someone to hold the baby. For me the first 6 weeks both times have been lovely and relaxing, although I understand not everyone has this experience.

I was one of those women who had to adjust to parenthood without any support from a partner.

i do something similar to what you are suggesting whenever my friends have babies now.

No one should feel like they don’t have a soul to turn to when they have a tiny baby. It’s brutal and I will never truly recover from how alone I felt then.

i searched and searched for services like you are proposing, for anything in fact, any kind of support at all, I remember feeing so defeated by a lightbulb as I needed to climb a ladder to change it and I was too scared to do it while the baby slept in case I fell and injured myself and no one noticed the accident until after my baby had starved next to my corpse.
Sadly not as wild a possibility as it might sound to read at first.

No one should go what I went through.

I hope you do set this up op, having a baby is the most isolating thing I’ve ever done, being able to text you about my breastfeeding struggles or have you cuddle my baby while I changed that light bulb would have been totally life changing to me.

Yes I hired a maternity nurse for £20 an hour to do just that.

I wouldn't have hired a midwife though.

Interesting Lil, is there any particular reason? I have looked at becoming a maternity nurse in the past as I imagine I had the relevant skills

I hired a doula for the birth of my second; she was also a midwife and I loved having the medical advice from her before, during and after birth. I'd probably would have paid for some postnatal sessions if she'd been a trained lactation consultant so I think whatever you're thinking of is viable-depending on what area of the country you're in. I'd suggest also up skilling in the areas of breastfeeding- as I don't think most midwives have the depth of experience to be able to help in different feeding situations. I know midwives that offer ante and post natal massages, baby massage classes, antenatal classes, hypnobirthing etc. think there's plenty of opportunities for doing something else alongside your midwifery skills.

I think it would be great for single mothers, but cost could be an issue.

Yes I would have done. Specifically if you were able to focus on mental health and feeding support, and continued your clinical competencies for post partum health/healing issues etc

This is all really helpful thank you so much! I do have extended breastfeeding training and aiming to take the lactation consultants exam next year :)

Based on our experiences of the postnatal ward it being a midwife would put me off! We did have an excellent breastfeeding support woman who came round and changed DPs life, so if I was looking for help that would be one of the most important criteria.

Oh no that’s awful to read. I know that in general postnatal care is seriously lacking which is why I feel so passionately about it

I employed a private mw (and lactation consultant) for breastfeeding and thought she was worth her weight in gold. She helped me to bf through a horrific (for me!) tongue tie, gave me an express-feed plan that I could stick to & which helped my pnd, and just basically made my life better. Might be worth you doing lactation consultant qualifications if you haven’t done so already.

If I had the funds id 100% be interested, I think that the company for mum would be amazing too, I felt so lonely those first few weeks, the baby blues were horrific and I think having somebody with your experience help out and be there would be amazing x