FTM - Advice needed on 15 week olds routine

[cherrytreecottage]

Hi all,

I'm a new mum to DD 15 weeks and looking for some advice on her routine if possible. Apologies this will be long!

After she was born we got into a nice routine where she was feeding then napping every 4 hours from 6.30am - this timing worked really well for me and DH with sharing feeds.
On the advice of the midwives and HV, we woke her for the 2.30am feed for the first 8 weeks. After that, and after being told by countless people that we should never wake a sleeping baby, we decided to see how she got on without being woken. For the next 4 weeks, she naturally woke around that 2.30am time anyway. All great.

However, the last 3 weeks she's slept longer through the night but this is causing some issues the next day.

It's really hit and miss on what time she'll wake through the night - might be 3.30am, 4am, 4.30am etc which means every day we seem to be on a slightly new time schedule from the night before (it's still every 4hrs during the day). Is this right?? Does everyone just 'see' when baby wakes and then start the 3/4 hr routine from then on?

The though issue is when we get to an evening: So she used to feed at say, 2.30pm then 6.30pm with bedtime then being around 7.30pm, since she's gone longer through the night, it's often more like 4pm and then 8pm or somewhere there about. Since this has happened, even though she naps after the 4pm feed, from about 6pm through until we bath her before the 8pm one - she pretty much cries the whole time. If we try to get her to sleep longer, she's screaming...if you don't....she's screaming! I've tried to see if she's hungry and she's not, I've also tried upping her oz at the 4pm feed which made no difference.
I can tell she's tired but she's fighting it. Sometimes she'll end up tiring herself out and falling asleep, more often that not she's just like this until we do the bath/bedtime routine at which point she's fine again!

As I said, this only happened since her routine changed but I'm reluctant to go back to waking her earlier in the night. I'm torn between being desperate to solve this witching hour issue, but also - if I wake her how will I ever know if she'll sleep through?! It's like a catch 22!

Does anyone have any advice?

Welcome to the world of children!

To be blunt, what works one day won't necessarily work another. The idea of a 15wo having any sort of fixed routine is hilariously naive. Your child's needs will change regularly especially in the first few years and their sleeping, eating, crying habits will change with these needs.

Lots of oldies describe the early evening as the witching hour - babies just won't settle - it's evolutionarily normal and primes increased milk production in feeding mothers as a key feeding time.

Being a - new - mum is hard. Go easy on yourself and your DC. Try not to create arbitrary rules/routines which inadvertently become a rod for your back

My baby is 19 weeks and I literally follow her lead. We have been hit by the sleep regression so night times are all over the place. Yesterday she woke up lots through the night then slept 6-10am, this morning she got up at 8am, last week she was getting up at 7am. Last night she went to sleep at 10pm, tonight it's been 8.30pm! We don't have any set routine as such. I try to be consistent with bath around the same time every day but that's about it!

I don't think you need to always stick to every 4 hours, and I agree with a pp that I felt life much more enjoyable when I just went with the flow, fed when hungry and put to bed when tired.

However, if you are keen on a fixed routine, then always wake at the same time each day. So wake at 7 and give a big feed. If they wake at 5am for example just give them a half feed, or enough to get them through until 7.
This makes each day consistent.

You can also do this in the afternoon if needed, so feed a smaller feed at 4, wake after 30mins, so she is ready for a full feed and bedtime at 6:30.
You can also do a dream feed at 10pm which can see them though until morning.

Thank you for the advice.

The every 4 hours (ish) throughout the day has just become her pattern - don't get me wrong I'll admit that I clock watched when she was newborn but now she just naturally gets hungry as we approach the 4 hour mark. If she's hungrier earlier then I don't 'hold out' until 4 hours if that makes sense.

As mentioned, over the last 3 weeks I have just been going with the flow overnight now her pattern is changing - I wake when she wakes me and on we go. I think because that coincided with when this evening crying spell started, I started wondering if I was causing it by not sticking to the same times each day or was doing something 'wrong'.

Cram in more daytime feeds. 3 hourly from 7am to 7pm, a dream feed at 10.30/11pm then let them sleep through.

I'm trying to remember this age bracket as it's all a blur now (even though mine is only 2!). I breastfed so not sure if that makes a difference, but definitely had a sleep / feed regression around this age. Like others said, really didn't have much of a routine at this age and because of BF it was pretty much on demand, well that's what I did. Often slept 3 hours until 11ish, last feed then would sleep until early morning, maybe 5am ish. We didn't wake for feeding at this age.
Around the 12-16week mark the getting to sleep became harder as I think they are at the age they don't really know how to fall asleep. I definitely comfort fed, we used white noise / all the tricks they tell you not to lol. But on the plus side my toddler sleeps 12-3 hours at night and has done for a long time now, unless unwell. So try not to worry and just get through this tough bit, and try some other means to help sleep (e.g. White noise).