Grandparents gifts smell of smoke

[Chillijams]

My MIL smokes 40+ a day which in the past hasn’t bothered me, aside from her not doing it around the children. However because of the energy crisis & weather, she is now smoking in her own home but with all the windows shut, so nothing is aired. Recently when she’s come to visit, any gifts for my children (4 year old & 7 month old) absolutely stink of smoke. I have to wash and/or extensively air them. Everyone is coming to ours for Christmas and I’m thinking that everything they bring will just be unusable for immediate use. She doesn’t realise and my partner thinks saying something will upset her far too much. But it’s really disgusting on toys/clothes for the children. I don’t know what to do!

We had the same issue with PIL and an aunt.
FIL once handed something over and proudly said how they had kept it separate and sealed up in a carrier bag so it wouldn’t smell of smoke.
It did.
We never said anything, although we did visit less frequently as the years went on because they refused to not smoke when we were there.
I don’t see how you can say anything really, it would be incredible hurtful to tell them the things they bring stink, and smokers always think non smokers are exaggerating anyway! They would just get defensive and it may result in a fallout.
Could you maybe suggest they’d like to choose things themselves/help their savings grow and hope they start giving cash in future rather than gifts?

They themselves will smell of smoke when they’re in your home. So any toys won’t make a difference. You can wash clothes after they leave, and wipe toys down but likelihood will be their smoky smell will remain on your upholstery for several days at least. I’m not being unkind - my parents are smokers so I experience the same thing.

I can’t imagine any presents being permanently unusable though - maybe a soft toy? In which case that technically could go through wash too

I would (really) tell them that everything they bring stinks and I do t want it.

I expect she does too. Wouldn’t want her in the house. Smoking is one of my very few non-negotiables.

I had the same problem. Both of my PILs smoked in their home, my MIL chain smoked. Everything they gave my DCs smelt awful and we all used to change as soon as we got home if we’d spent any time at their house. They passed away 10 years ago, I recently opened a folder with some paperwork we took from the house and it still reeked of smoke. I resigned myself to the fact that any presents had to be immediately washed before they could be used. In later years, MIL never knew what to get the DCs for Xmas so I would buy them (she would reimburse) and keep them at my house, wrap and take them over when we visited and the DCs would open them, which minimised the exposure to smoke. It’s annoying but there’s probably not a lot you can do about it, saying something will just cause a stink (ha, ha!).