How do you manage when second baby only wants to contact nap?

[Moonshine160]

DS has just turned 3 months old. Other than his first morning nap of the day (45 mins then wakes)he will only contact nap the rest of the time, he used to be put down for longer but has stopped. If I put him down he wakes after 5 mins. I’ve tried the usual - dark room, white noise, waiting until he’s in a deep sleep etc but he just wants to be held. I know this is normal but with other young DCs to look after, how do you manage this? I used a carrier and sling in the earlier weeks but he’s started getting agitated in this too, he just wants to be cradled in my arms.

The answer was a sling for me. What kind have you got? Could you try out some others from a sling library?

@pjani ive got a close caboo sling and a baby Bjorn mini but he’s started getting agitated and squirmy in both. He likes to sleep being in the cradle position rather than upright so I’m finding it difficult x

I'm in the same boat with DC2 who's the same age. No advice just solidarity!

Sling and lots of TV. I felt bad about it but I just had to make the older one sit down and watch TV or set up an activity for them.

Or just head out for a walk with them in the carrier.

A sling, sleeping at the same time (when ds1 was at play school), not getting at much done!
It was hard going for quite a few years.

Said ds2 will be 17 next month, and still gives me snuggles 💕

Nursery! Though I get that's a very unhelpful answer.

Quiet games. Domino matching games, kids bingo, magnetic fishing etc. Things you can do sat down with minimal noise :) Puzzles, maze books etc.

Nursing chair and quiet activities for the older one. Can rock DC2 and allow him to contact nap as also will refuse to transfer to the cot.

In the better weather, outdoor walk around nap time so little one hopefully falls asleep while older one burns off some steam outside.

Thanks for the ideas everyone. DS1 does go to preschool for two days a week so that does help, it’s just difficult the rest of the time. I’ll try and set up some activities for him in advance of nap time. He’s only 3.5 and really struggles to play independently, his behaviour is very testing at the moment too.

3 months old, sleeping on a parent is pretty normal. Get a sling.

As others have said, it's trying. We have the same age gap too. By the time he was about 6 months old he started to nap better in his cot at home though, so hopefully you may not have too much time left before things get easier on that front. He would sleep in the pram too, not for long periods but at least it wasn't on me. So he'd sleep to/from groups and then DD was more occupied at the groups so didn't need total attention from me the whole time. I'd also push him to sleep in the hallway in his pram back and forth and he'd sleep there too. DH used the baby carrier a lot but by 3 months I was already finding him too uncomfortable to use the sling anymore tbh (he was a pretty big baby at that time).

My sling was more of a hammock type - in fact when he was around 9m we were on holiday and I just tied him to me with a large sarong.
I always found the carrier type uncomfortable past a couple of months.

It's so hard! I was in that same position (second baby born in July, already had a 3 year old) and I ended up doing some sleep training around 17 weeks with my son where I shushed and patted him to sleep for naps until he learned to fall asleep lying down in his cot, then slowly did less and less shush patting until ultimately he could fall asleep on his own in his cot. It took about a week but he's been falling asleep independently in his cot ever since and it has made SUCH a difference in our lives (he's now 5.5 months).

If you can get baby to take a dummy, it will be much easier. Mine wouldn't but I wished every day he would have.

My son was like this. He'd do one nep independently. But then wanted to be held for the rest.

Does yours sleep in the pram?

I used to do the morning nap at home. Schedule a walk fir lunchtime nap. Them t the third I'd do on the couch. He may not have regular nap times as such but you can work out roughly when get will be tired.

Have you tried bribing the 3:5 old ? We got through a lot of chocolate buttons when we had number 2. That and screen time. Just do whatever works. 3.5 year olds can be tough. Feel your pain.