Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Ex wanting contact

8 replies

Thelonelychicken · 13/12/2022 18:35

This may be long so apologies in advance.
we have 3 kids 13, 5 and 3. Ex is awaiting trail for threatening behaviour and coercive control. He's not allowed to contact me for now.
He told me he was moving away to the other side of the country so I moved when a job opportunity came up 3 hours away.

He's now sent a solicitor letter saying he wants the kids every other weekend. I don't drive and he wants them by 4pm Friday untill 4pm Sunday. The younger ones have never been without me. And he proposes that to avoid us seeing each other drop off and contact will be at his mums house. We had been doing that before and each time he was there and threw threats at me ect in front of the kids so obviously this won't work as already shown. He lives with his mum. New girlfriend and her kids. In a two bed house So no space either.
He's also refused to give kids back at agreed times so I just can't trust him not to try keep the kids.
He does drugs one of the many reasons for breaking up. I know 100% he takes it around his new gfs baby (not his) the witness to this is my brother.

There was an instance of one of the kids sustaining a non accidental injury. Was all investigated and sorted but I've always thought it could've been him. As I know it wasn't me.
I had to get a food bank package so he could spend £500 on a game. His words are coz I claimed child benefit that should pay for everything.
Kids don't know the whole mess I've tried to keep them sheltered. I don't bad mouth him. They never ask for him.
Eldest hates him. Refuses to see him or talk to him. Untill he started plying her with vapes.

I'd much rather it went to court and had some "protection" in place. I have no clue where to start. I'm genuinely worried about him around the kids unsupervised. Longest he's ever had them was 3 hours in all thier lives.

There is so so much back story to this but I don't want to write pages of text.

Basically what do I do? I can post a picture of said letter with identity blanked out

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 13/12/2022 18:37

Do nothing, and let him take you to court.

Stressfordays · 13/12/2022 18:41

I've been through a very similar sounding mess. My advice, do absolutely nothing. Let him take you to court. I very much doubt he will, mine never bothered when he realised all would be revealed and he would look very silly in court.

Bestcatmum · 13/12/2022 18:44

Just totally ignore this twat. They all try this one including my ex husband. The court refused him any access at all. There is no way I'd have handed DS over voluntarily.
Just because he wants something doesn't mean he's going to get it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

PritiPatelsMaker · 13/12/2022 18:44

Agree with the PP. do nothing.

Let him apply for a Child Arrangements Order.

You don't have to hand over the DC just because he says so. Just ignore the letter.

If you are concerned about how you stand legally, you can post in the legal section or talk to Rights of Women Flowers

Thelonelychicken · 13/12/2022 18:51

So can I punished for not responding to said letter? If It did go to court will it look bad that I didn't respond?

OP posts:
GinIronic · 13/12/2022 18:56

A solicitor’s letter is not a court order. If your ex really wants contact he will make the effort to go to court. My guess is that he won’t bother as it will be too much hassle and too expensive for him.

Thelonelychicken · 13/12/2022 18:58

Think he's getting legal aid through the same solicitors that's representing him in court on charges.

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 13/12/2022 19:14

As Gin says, this isn't a Court Order and you shouldn't feel under pressure to comply if you don't think it's in the Children's best interests.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page