Tips for the transition from DC1 to DC2?

[Yrmyfavourite]

Hi All,

I am 29 weeks with DC2 and I’m not working at the moment so, I've got 2 months to spend with DD1 and was wondering if you had any tips or recommendations of things you did or wish you did during the transition period?

DD is 3yo and has a good understanding of the baby coming so, she is very excited and keen to help out but, not sure how the reality will compare and I want to make sure she's still getting lots of attention where possible etc however, until I get there, I’m not sure how to get the ball rolling or, if I even need to do anything differently just yet.

Your advice is greatly appreciated!

Thank you 😊 x

I got DD1 involved in all the prep for the new baby. She helped me choose some clothes, helped get the bedroom and cot ready, picked out some toys etc.
Once the baby arrived, she was my helper - she did things like put sudocreme on the baby's bum at nappy change, held the baby's bottle (with help!), helped bath the baby etc

Priority is to get dc1 into The Best Bedtime Routine Ever...
And agree letting her 'help' is the key.
Watching ds helping at bath time was so cute. Keeping calm when he pulled the plug out and the baby bath emptied all over the front room not so cute.
If your toddler wants a cuddle mid bf don't say you can't as you are feeding the baby just squish dd beside you.. Recently I found a photo of a ds wrapped round my neck and a tiny ds bf underneath him!!
They are now 28 and nearly 27!!

I did more bedtimes as I knew once the baby is here I won’t be able to. Also communicated a lot that babies need their mummy a lot, cry often because they need help etc

Once the baby arrives, people tend to coo over it so I always make a point to hug DC1 and say “and DC1 is such a good big brother”, basically always include him in the conversation.

I only had DC2 a month ago and DC1 is a bit younger (nearly 2) but a few things spring to mind...

• If there are going to be any changes to DD1's routine (e.g. daddy putting her to bed), try and introduce them early so she doesn't associate them with the new baby and blame baby for changes she doesn't like.

• Make the most of the time with DD1 as I really miss being able to give her all my attention!

• But also encourage DD1 to do as much independent play as possible as she will need to be used to occupying herself for periods once baby is here.

• If your DD likes dolls, maybe get her a baby doll and some accessories so she can look after 'her' baby while you look after DC2.

• Find some local baby and toddler groups if you don't currently go to any and (if you don't currently have work commitments) get into the routine of going to them so that you can continue to go once DC2 arrives.

Thanks for all the tips so far! Really appreciate it and will definitely take them on board 😊

Ime at any toddler group there was always a pair of arms wanting to hold the baby.
Guarantees you an actual hot drink and some time with dc1!. Made my dd2 non fussed about being passed around! Win win!

I'm not sure that much of what I did to prepare helped that much, it's a bit of a whirlwind when number 2 arrives. My older one, her sleep went to pot, things were quite all over the place despite attempts to have routine etc. My DD has never really been jealous though, that might just be luck. I do a lot of talking to her about it and do ask her to help and also sometimes make a point of telling the baby to "wait" or be patient so it's not always the toddler being told that. We also got her a present from the baby which she loved. I've actually had to be stricter/more boundaried with the older one since the baby arrived but actually it seems to have worked quite well, like she responds better to just being told what is happening rather than having lots of choices.

Things I would focus on preparing....as much help and support in the first few weeks as you can, plus sort out anything that needs doing so you have as little to think about as possible. Clean the house if that bothers you, do all the washing, admin etc, batch cook, prepare to call in all favours on babysitting, childcare etc. You won't feel like you have enough time for both DC once no.2 is here in the first few weeks so keep everything else as simple as possible.

Then just remember that toddlers are adaptable and they'll cope with the change, you'll all just need a bit of time to adjust. My little one is 6 weeks and we are now much more back in routine and it feels reasonably normal to have 2.