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Original poster

Nursery refusal since being ill - what should I do?

9 replies

Doowop1919 · 13/12/2022 07:05

Morning everyone,

Feeling a bit overwhelmed and don't know what to do for the best. DS is 2 years, 5 months old. He started nursery two mornings a week in September for 4 and a half hours - he's loved it from the beginning as it's a small nursery and quite calm. He loved it so much to the extent he would run around excited on nursery mornings and ask me on the other mornings if we were going to nursery today.

A month ago he got sick with stomach flu which lasted a week, then had a two week cold straight after. His nursery teacher was then sick. So he went twice in 4 weeks. He's feeling better now, except a cough, but he seems to have changed in so many areas: Refusal to leave the house, always wants to stays home and has meltdowns if we try (he never had meltdowns before), he won't eat fruits / certain meals anymore (fruit was always his favourite snack and he was a good eater), he's been sleeping through since last Christmas and now he wakes and moans in the night for 2-3 hours that he wants to get up and go into the living room, and now we have nursery refusal. He had a 45 minute meltdown last week because he didn't want to go. It was dreadful, continued whilst we were there and we ended up leaving again as he wouldn't calm down. This morning, he started again. With the broken sleep I had, being 32 weeks pregnant, a migraine and it being -12 outside, I just couldn't find the strength to take him this morning. Nursery teacher said we should really bring him in because he will learn he can dictate. I know she's right and yet still I'm thinking why force him when I'm at home anyway? And why has he suddenly changed so dramatically after a few weeks of illness.

I just feel like an awful mum right now. I have been trying to get him back into his normal routine to help but it's been so hard with meltdowns, broken sleep and food refusal. Dh helps loads but he also has to work full time and we don't have any family nearby.
Do I keep going with getting him back into his routine? Take him into nursery despite the meltdowns? And hope it just gets easier?

Any advice would be appreciated. It's the first time since he was a small baby and screamed for 5 hours in a row that I just feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do.

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Anewhoo · 13/12/2022 08:35

I think it’s probably just residual illness. Mine was like this, had horrible cold for months and severe vomiting bug. Took a few weeks to get back to their normal self.

Original poster
Doowop1919 · 13/12/2022 09:02

Thanks for replying. I thought it might be something like this and even thought about taking him to the doctor but he seems absolutely fine when at home with me which makes me doubt he's still under weather 😓

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Cheesenibbler · 13/12/2022 09:06

I wouldn’t make too much of it and I expect Christmas holidays will break the cycle! I think illness at this age does cause them to regress and seek out what feels safe to them. It will pass I promise! (Mum of 4)

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Anewhoo · 13/12/2022 09:09

Doowop1919 · 13/12/2022 09:02

Thanks for replying. I thought it might be something like this and even thought about taking him to the doctor but he seems absolutely fine when at home with me which makes me doubt he's still under weather 😓

It was the same for us, was fine when I picked him up early. He’s usually the first one for messing play, playing with others, but they said he was a bit out of sorts - laughing with me when I picked him up though! It did take a couple of weeks for him to go back to his usual self.

Shemovesshemoves21 · 13/12/2022 09:15

The illness has probably put him all out of sorts. I'd stick to the usual routine and he'll soon get back into the swing of things. He's probably lived being at home and is pushing boundaries a bit so a couple of things may be at play - I really wouldn't worry though.

Original poster
Doowop1919 · 14/12/2022 15:44

Cheesenibbler · 13/12/2022 09:06

I wouldn’t make too much of it and I expect Christmas holidays will break the cycle! I think illness at this age does cause them to regress and seek out what feels safe to them. It will pass I promise! (Mum of 4)

Thank you for the reassurance! It helps to know it's normal

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Original poster
Doowop1919 · 14/12/2022 15:45

Anewhoo · 13/12/2022 09:09

It was the same for us, was fine when I picked him up early. He’s usually the first one for messing play, playing with others, but they said he was a bit out of sorts - laughing with me when I picked him up though! It did take a couple of weeks for him to go back to his usual self.

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Thanks, we seem to be slowly getting there!

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Original poster
Doowop1919 · 14/12/2022 15:47

Shemovesshemoves21 · 13/12/2022 09:15

The illness has probably put him all out of sorts. I'd stick to the usual routine and he'll soon get back into the swing of things. He's probably lived being at home and is pushing boundaries a bit so a couple of things may be at play - I really wouldn't worry though.

Thanks for the reassurance! I think this is definitely what it is. He screamed again on and off for an hour this morning because he didn't want to go to the shop (again, never a problem before). I got him out the door and as soon as we were outside, he had a great time with zero complaining so I think I just need to keep on going with our routine and he should hopefully snap out of this soon.

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Marylou62 · 14/12/2022 16:45

I could have written this 30 years ago... exactly the same weeks pregnant and DS the same age...not suffering from the cold tho but a long hilly walk in the heat.. I just had a break and started again in September (maybe after Easter for you?) He was so small and I actually enjoyed our time together until his sister was born...
Ignore me if you are still working and need the childcare...

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