5 month old - won’t nap unless rocked - too late for a dummy?

[Hsc]

I’m a first time mum and first time thread writer although I’ve read a LOT of these!

my little one is 5 months and since about 6 weeks hasn’t napped in the day unless rocked. And it’s not just a sitting on the sofa/slight rocking motion rock - it’s pretty much a full workout!

ive got through so far by using a sling but he’s getting a bit big for that and it’s still fairly restrictive. He won’t be put down unless he’s fast asleep (after being rocked), and if he doesn’t wake up instantly it’s very soon after he goes down. And when I say goes down I mean in my bed while I’m lying next to him - the cot is a complete no no!

his night sleep has definitely regressed (between 2-4 wake ups a night) but to be honest it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the daytime naps. He’s fed to sleep but will sleep in his bedside crib. It’s a Snüz pod with the side down so makes wake ups way easier.

with the naps, it’s not just that he has to be rocked - he fights it every time. Even if I think I’ve timed it perfectly with wake windows/his sleep cues , he still isn’t happy about going to sleep and will cry every time (even eve. napping in my arms which is what he does pretty much every time). Also EVERY nap he wakes after 30 mins - I know this is probably a sleep cycle thing.

I know there’s no magic answer to this, but wanted to know if anyone’s experienced similar and come out the other side?! I’ve considered giving a dummy but because he hasn’t had one so far, I’m reluctant (but if i knew it would be a game changer I would). I just feel so sad that he gets so upset about naps and wonder if by not giving him a dummy that I’m denying him a tool to relax and get over the nap-hating. I give him loads of cuddles but it doesn’t work to calm him. I just don’t know if he’ll one day “mature” and learn to go down for a nap/link sleep cycles or if I’m destined for some kind of sleep training …

ive honestly tried everything - wake windows, sleep cues, drowsy but awake, white noise, dark room, etc etc. Nothing gets me anywhere. I’ve read about weaning them off rocking by gradually reducing the amount of rocking each day - makes sense In theory but think it would take 10 years at this rate and have never actually heard of this working for anyone!!

anyway any thoughts hugely appreciated! Anyone tried a dummy late on for this sort of thing, or just waited it out? From a mum at her wits end who’s fed up of sitting in the dark rocking a baby that only ever sleeps for 30 mins :)

Jiggling them gets a similar effect and is much less effort. 5 month olds are known for their terrible sleep so don't worry. Rocking is better than them feeding to sleep. As they get older they'll do less but longer naps

Dummies are amazing but not all babies will take one. It might be a bit late. Rocking is fine in the scheme of things

My eldest was 20 weeks when I introduced a dummy, which us somewhere around 5 months. But that said, the poor habits were more ingrained by then and the dummy wasn't the magic wand it would have been if established younger. But dummy still definitely made a big positive difference.

Suffice to say that with my second and third child I took a dummy into the delivery suite made very sure I introduced a dummy early. Definitely a magic wand then.

Instead of rocking could you walk with the baby for a few minutes until they are calm, and then sit down with them on your shoulder and wait for them to fall asleep.

It might take a few days and it'll be hard but it might help wean them off the rocking.

Then, stop the walking and only hold them to sleep.

Then hold them for a bit and put them down next to you. Maybe stroke their head/face to calm them.

Etc. Basically try to wean them off one step at a time.

We did with our 3 month old and it worked. It may take a little longer with your older baby.

How is baby in pushchair? When my 4 monthnoldbis fighting a nap i just go out for a walk so he sleeps at least

Of course you can give a dummy now, it might really help!

Our son would only be rocked to sleep too, we did sleep training by lying next to baby in my bed and shushing and patting him, letting him chew on my hand, suck on a dummy etc. until he learned to fall asleep lying on a flat surface. There was crying but it sounds like your baby cries anyway so may be worthwhile to try. You have to really commit as it can be a long time for them to sleep the first time (1 hour for us) but after that successively better and I slowly gave him less "help" to fall asleep and eventually put him in his cot instead of on my bed. Now he now falls asleep independently for all naps.

I learned the process from an e-book called Precious Little Sleep which gives a lot of different options for different babies/temperaments.

My eldest DD took a dummy around the 5 month mark and it transformed her sleep, as she'd self sooth and settle herself off she woke up mid sleep or nap. After her 1st birthday, we only used the dummy for sleeping. Then around age 3 took the dummy away completely.

Well you're meant to be weaning off dummies by 6-12m so I wouldn't be introducing one now anyway.

My baby falls asleep to walking motion rather than sort of jiggling as we all normally do. I can just stand on the same spot and walk and it works better than jiggling.
A walk in the buggy, a ride in the car etc but also I co sleep and if my baby doesn't fall asleep feeding he just sits up and laughs and looks like he wants to play. I just stay laying down, don't take him on with his games and he starts flopping on the bed, sitting up rinse and repeat, may take 20 mins then he just calms down and falls asleep!

That is something I'd never have done with my first - just give enough time for him to fall asleep on his own. I'd have picked up my firstborn immediately if he started splatting his face on the bed then sitting up again. And I'd have shushed and sing and walked around and blah blah. When actually - patience was key!

Mine had snuggles wouldn't take a dummy. Self soothed with this

Thanks for all your replies!! The responses are pretty split which reflects my own split opinion on what’s best to try 🙈 I’m not anti dummy at all but had a hard time getting breastfeeding going so was worried about introducing something that interfered with it - then by the time I felt comfortable he had stopped using me as a human dummy so I thought I didnt need it. In comes the 4 month sleep regression and I immediately regret it! if I have any more … the dummy is going in early doors!

if I try to shush him back to sleep and put my hand on his belly for reassurance he’s now trying to put my hand in his mouth which has made me think he wants something to suck even more (I know he’s definitely not hungry) - either that or teething. I’ve let him suck my finger but he just gets annoyed after a while I guess because it’s not the easiest shape for him to suck! But in that case he might as well have a dummy.

it’s encouraging to hear that some of you have been able to wean them off rocking - I just can’t imagine it with my little one because he needs SO much help to get to sleep.

everyone says just to follow your instinct with these things but with sleep it’s so hard to know if it’s your instinct or frustration/sleep deprivation talking!!

We had a very complex settling ritual for our baby when she was under 3 months old. We would walk with her on our shoulder for 10 mins around the house until she fell asleep then sit down with her on the shoulder for 20 mins until she was deep asleep then put her down. We went from that to putting her down drowsy but awake, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The key for us was consistency and taking a hit with a couple of hard periods where she would take longer to settle because we were slowly stripping back the settling routine.

I would be wary of adding another sleep prop at this stage like the dummy.

Has your baby found their hands? Do they suck on them? If so I think they're better off using their hands to self settle rather than a dummy. At least at night or between sleep cycles they'll still be able to put hand to mouth and you won't need to go in again and pop the dummy back in.

And the other bit of advice we got from a book was thr 2 minute rule. Wait 2 mins or so and let then have a little moan and see of they'll sleep. It meant we didn't jump in at the wrong time, as our baby moved past the groaning, found her hands and self settled.

Also we've found white noise is a good cue for sleep. We use one called 'womb sounds' om YouTube. We set it to around 80% volume for the first few mins then reduce it to around 30% in increments every few mins.

No advice I'm afraid but very interested to read what others say! We have 5 month old, very similar problem. Has always needed to be walked, rocked or fed to sleep. At night we could put her down, day time she would only sleep when held or in carrier. Now we can't put her down at night either and i feel so tired

Oh yes, my DD needed a lot of assistance to get to sleep at that age. When it became too much to try and rock her (even in a sling) I tried a buggy which worked pretty well. I'd just go round a really boring route and she'd drift off. I'd then stay close by so I could push it with my foot if she started stirring. She napped in the pram for months before I had to move on to something else.
All of her nap issues have been phases, we've done in the sling rocking, pram, car naps. Now she's 16 months and she will fall asleep laying down having a cuddle. It has been a long road to get here but she's always just needed more assistance.
Sadly she never took a dummy so it wasn't an option for us

We introduced a comforter at 5-6 months, instead of a dummy. Definitely helped as a very strong sleep cue and something to suck. Plus it’s adorable. I also struggled with daytime naps until maybe 9 months, but found that a bedtime routine really helped to set the expectation of sleep, even though you feel that it’s a waste of time re-doing it for naps that don’t work in the short term. Hang in there x

They need either the real thing or a dummy to suckle on. that need to suckle is completely innate and it needs to be quelled either by a breast, which is why they have the need, to build milk supply, or a dummy nipple so they can think they are on a breast. Natural weaning age of humans is 5-7 as they need BM to line their gut and provide immunity. So if we don't breastfeed we still need to provide a dummy all the time so they can be tricked into thinking they're being fed on demand.

It will take a while longer for evolution to sort this one out and adjust to the fact we're not feeding to full term anymore nor feeding on demand.

I feel like I'm reading my future here. My 3mo won't take a dummy or bottle, and needs nursed to sleep. He then becomes unsettled when put in his cot and if I catch him quick enough he accepts being bounced to sleep, else it's back on the boob. Sometimes he self settles, sometimes with his hand to his mouth, but mostly he needs boob. I'm interested in getting him off needing nursed to sleep sooner than later. I'd be very interested to know how you get on with your 5mo!