3 month old only sleeps while being held

[nanodyne]

DS2 has just hit 3 months and will only sleep while being held. Now we're out of 4th trimester I'd like to get him used to sleeping more independently, but cannot remember how we managed it with DS1.. it just seemed to happen?

He has a next to me and will usually spend the first 2-3h of the night in it (hasn't managed that for the last few nights but I'm chalking that up to the cold, we live in an old house and it's 14° by 5am). The problem is that he won't go back down after that, and I can't have him screaming in the middle of the night in case he wakes DS2, so I end up co-sleeping while he feeds on and off. He also won't take his naps in his basket, I can get him to drift off but he's awake in 5 mins if I put him down. I've tried putting him down drowsy to no avail, and leaving him down (with pats, soothing etc) just results in a very sad, overtired baby.

Any advice/tips?

This is so normal. It's absolutely exhausting. The way I got through it was my husband would sling nap her 8:30-11pm when I'd nap then I'd do a long feed and she'd maybe sleep for 2 hours in next to me then she'd sleep on me until 6am (I'd stay awake listening to podcast) then husband would taker her from 6-9am and I'd nap again. Co sleeping did not work for us. She just didn't settle, even next to me. Keep popping her in cot then she'll start doing longer stretches.

Are you able to put him down once he's in a deep sleep at all? I have to rock/hold DD2 to get her asleep, but then can usually put her down after 10-15min. At night she miraculously will do 7-8hrs (DS1 never slept more than 4hrs until he was 18mo, so really feels like a miracle!) With naps it could be 30min-3hrs.

How to get her asleep without the rocking is a whole other thing

@sunflowerandivy I'll definitely keep trying, sometimes it just feels so defeating 😭

@MandaLynn it doesn't seem to matter how asleep he is, if I pop him down he's awake within 10 minutes... I do sometimes put him in the sling when I need to do other things, but it's getting harder as he gets bigger (I'm only petite). We have the whole rocking performance too during the day, my shoulders are in bit, hoping DH has received the hints for a spa voucher for Xmas 😁

Haha tell me about it @nanodyne ! I have big babies for being so petite...my back is in absolute bits! My sympathies

Well, I jinxed myself. DD has gone from 7-8hr stretches to waking every 45min all night. Currently sitting awake holding her while she sleeps, as I'm scared to put her down and start the whole rocking cycle again.

How are you getting on @nanodyne ?

They are programmed to want to stay close to you, even more so at this time of year when it's cold and dark. Snuggle up together until the spring, and everything will get easier.

@MandaLynn oh no!! I hope she's just going through a little phase and you get your sleep back soon! We're managing up to 4h in one go, so only one wake in the night, which feels a lot more bearable! Still haven't managed to put him down again for the second stretch though. Going to try a bit more routine after the disruption of Xmas is over I think.

@caffelattetogo yeah I've definitely noticed he's even more cuddly since the temperature dropped!

Hi ya, i feel your pain. My baby is 8 weeks. Sleeps on me day and night. Its really getting to me now. I feel like the only person to suffer like this lol. Ive never watched so much tv in my life. Tbh its very depressing. No more thsn ten mins till she wakes up if I dare put her down. I can't get anything done. People talk about baby carriers but ur still very limited and I find if she wakes up in there she immediately wants out. I breast feed also but i think she'd be the same if bottle fed. I believe id end up wasting a lot of formula because she is always hanging off my boob so it's likely shed be the same with that. Sorry im no help Just try seeing how you can adapt to things for now and know its not forever

Hi OP, we're in the same boat with our 3 month old, except she will eventually Co sleep with me. How did you progress to getting 4 hour stretches in the crib?? We've been trying for some naps and after final feed in the evening...so far managing only 30mins max (sometimes 30 secs), but when she wakes she is so overtired and grumpy and will do the most godawful screams until she conks out. It's really putting me off trying.

Sorry, just read that you were co sleeping too!

@Richtea67 for that first stretch I try to give him a feed when I go to bed (about 11ish) and the my DH burps and settles him - sometimes he'll need a bit of rocking or cuddling but it seems to work better if it's him rather than me. I know what you mean about being put off trying.. we thought he might tolerate being in the basket early evening yesterday and he ended up so sad and overtired 😔