What do you do when your toddler refuses food?

[testy1997]

Do you offer an alternative? Or leave them be..

Toddler is 15 months and eats quite well but wants to be spoon fed most things but then has weeks where she just won't eat. In those scenarios I don't know if I should just let her get on with it? I feel cruel but also don't want to create bad habits..

I also don't offer snacks unless she asks me so it's not that she's filling up on snacks etc.

I offer an alternative at this age. When we get to two or older I might start with offering less choice but to be honest no matter what I've seen friends do, all children go through phases of preferences and also learning about autonomy and choice.

I don't offer an alternative as such, since most meals already included several options for them to choose from.

Lunches tend to be a selection from soup/sandwich/crisps/tomatoes/peppers/cucumber/cheese. They eat some options and leave other things. Dinners might be a "main" item like lasagne or pie or sausage or fish, but there's also some fort of potato and two or more vegetables, so again they can choose to leave some things and eat other.

What I won't do is make a separate meal, unless it is a known dislike and an alternative can be served alongside without rethinking the whole meal (eg plain chicken alongside chicken curry, as I can easily remove some chicken before adding it to the sauce)

Terrible eater here at 15 months. I used to stress myself silly. Now I put 3 or 4 things on a plate and he either eats it or he doesn't. He seems fine. Sometimes he seems to exist on crumbs.

Mine used to be really fussy, I'd put lots of different things on their plate: cheese, breadsticks, hummus, grapes, broccoli, etc and they'd eat what they wanted from it.

I used to do DS a scrambled egg if he wouldn't eat.

He lived off apple sauce, scrambled egg, peanut butter sandwiches and spag bol till around 3

If they aren't eating for a week, what are they surviving on OP? The recommended amount of milk at this age is 300 ml per day at this age. Is she having a lot more than that?

I wouldn't offer an alternative, but would make sure the next snack/meal was something they love to maximise the chances of them eating it.

I would offer snacks at specific times and not on demand and make sure that they're healthy/substantial.

If they're otherwise happy and healthy, gaining weight, growing etc. I wouldn't worry. If there's any concern that they're not growing/developing how they should or they have other symptoms of being unwell I'd go and see your GP or health visitor.

@PritiPatelsMaker she drinks milk morning and night and has in a cup before her afternoon nap. She'll eat fruit reliably and porridge but sometimes will just refuse food or open her mouth chew and spit! It makes me so anxious

@PumpkinLumpkin I wish I could accept it it just makes me worry she'll wake at night or will waste away! How they survive I don't know!

If mine refuses main meal at dinner time then we get down from the table, play have stories then I'll offer 'tea' after that like a crumpet and a banana (or similar, sometimes a bowl of cereal) before bed. I have similar worries about my toddler waking hungry at night. Seems to work for us, don't think there really is a right answer though tbh 🤷

Not much, to be honest. If it's something I know she likes, I don't worry about it. If it's something new, I make sure there's a 'safe' food available too and don't worry about it.

Not sure if being spoonfed is a concern too, or just a side note but, honestly, if she wants to be fed, I just feed her. She's not going to be 17 and asking me to fly food into her mouth (I hope 😂)

Is she losing weight? If you have concerns about her weight see your GP. If she's gaining weight as she should be and seems happy and has normal nappies then she's absolutely fine. Their stomachs are tiny. I think we can have a skewed perception of how much they should be eating. Whatever she's eating when she's eating well, combined with milk when she's not eating well, is obviously enough for her.

Focus on offering a variety of food and don't stress around it. It's hard, I know, but if you're getting stressed they pick up on it.

My son has currently eaten nothing but milk for a week because of a vomiting bug. His nappies were fine throughout and he wasn't vomiting constantly so I knew he was fine and it would pass. His appetite is back now but he's eating less that before. I'm not stressing. Every day he eats a bit more and his appetite is slowly returning to normal. I notice the less bothered I am, the more he eats. If I stress and try to cajole him into eating he loses his appetite instantly.

PritiPatelsMaker she drinks milk morning and night and has in a cup before her afternoon nap. She'll eat fruit reliably and porridge but sometimes will just refuse food or open her mouth chew and spit! It makes me so anxiouswhen you say she has milk morning and night, do you mean before bed or is she waking at night for milk?