What's wrong with me?

[Helena1993]

Yup. Another depressing post.

I'm still not enjoying motherhood after 7 months and I'm scared I never will. People said it gets easier at 3 months, it did. At 6 OK. It got even better. But it's still far from FUN or enjoyable. It's boring. So incredibly boring... She can't sit well and can't crawl or do anything.

Nothing is wrong with you!!

looking after babies/small children is boring. Are you going back to work soon? When you’re doing the same thing all day every day it can feel like such a long slog. Work can help you feel a bit more ‘you’ and possibly enjoy the time you do have with your DD.

it might be that you’re just not a baby person. Perhaps you’ll enjoy the toddler stage more when they start doing more and talking! Or you might enjoy your DD more when she’s school age.

lots of people feel like you do but few will admit it so don’t feel guilty!!

You're right, the baby days can be quite a boring season with joyful and cute moments interspersed. I've enjoyed parenthood MUCH more from 2.5 when DD became more of an individual. I was also happier when I went back to work part time (but am now on mat leave with baby #2). There's nothing wrong with you, your feelings are very common even if many don't speak about it.

Nothing wrong with you, many of us find the early months a struggle. I love babies, had struggled for years to have one, and was astonished to find the first year absolute hell. The bit I had expected to find hell was the teen years, but now I'm there I'm finding it the best bit so far!

Year 1 is really, really tough. It gets better, I promise.

This. Yes. Me. Good Lord, it is so boring. And my son is super lovely. But this groundhog day life is just mind numbing. He is 7 months.

I’m the OP of this topic. My baby is now 16 months old and can walk and nod yes/no when asked something. Does it get better? YES. So much better. Everything has gotten better. Feeding (can spoon feed herself) and eat finger foods all I have to do is clean up the mess. She sleeps a solid 12 hours straight and has one long nap in the afternoon. She goes to childcare which helps. The walking/pointing really helps the boredom. Hang in there. I know it’s hard

Thank you for that heartening response OP! It brought me to tears. Its been so hard lately with a frustrated unable to do anything baby and equally frustrated parents who can't do much to help him. I can't wait for this first year to just END. This should be talked about more! Barring some moments of smiles and squealing laughter, it is a LOT.

Just Thank you@Helena1993

I’m happy to help because when she was 7 months old I was still depressed (I had PPD and you wouldn’t believe how often I cried and wondered what I did to my life and what a terrible mom I was) They are just a bag of potatoes at that age. You get very little back. A smile every now and then but other than that it’s just hard, unpaid and unappreciated work. I counted down the days. Literal DAYS until she turned 1. But I noticed with every milestone it gets easier. First sitting, then crawling, and then walking and ways of communicating with you, they start to copy you and my LO hugs me every evening and cuddles it’s so cute. She smiles ALL the time and shows me stuff she likes. It can still be hard work sometimes but much much less for me than the first year. Right now you’re stressed but in a couple months you‘ll have a cute little friend.

Make sure you child proof your home so you won’t have to chase him once he starts crawling.

Feel free to message me if you need help

It is SO boring. More needs to be written about how damned boring it is! Hang in there, it really does get so much better. Our daughter is 2 now and I love spending time with her, but also still love time away from her to meet my needs as well. I found going back to work the gamechanger for me. Time when I could function as 'me' and not have 'mum' as the sole role of my life 24/7.

So glad to hear the update.

And yes, I can attest that at 12 my Most Boring Baby is The Best Tween. Interesting,funny, engaging and just brilliant. Not everyone likes or enjoys babies but fake it til you make it and they end up brilliant humans.

It's okay OP. I hated hated hated the first year of parenthood. I loved my baby but I didn't love her babyhood if that makes sense.

Everyone seems to love them as babies and get all sad when they become toddlers and hate the terrible twos. But I was very much to opposite. I couldn't WAIT for my baby to become a toddler. I was so excited when she started cruising because once she mastered walking I could actually DO something with her other than sitting on the floor singing twinkle twinkle little star or bouncing her back and forth between the jumperoo and tummy time. I bought her a little Walker and made it a game and got her to chase me around the home encouraging her.

I just wanted to do something a little bit more intellectually challenging. Babyhood is mind numbingly boring.

Now that she's a toddler I love playing with her. We play dolls, run around the park, go swimming, play in the sand, pet the local cats, argue with the neighbourhood crowd, do puzzles, play tag, tickle games, rough and tumble play. This is stuff I became a parent for.

I'm glad I didn't miss her infant phase because it was prescious. I wouldn't give it back for anything but DAMN it was hard!

Crows not crowd lol

Thank you so much everyone for all the encouraging messages. I have days when I just feel this sadness and regret of how utterly difficult it all is and has been. Motherhood has turned out to be this rather bitter and cold time. My extended family is throughly uninvolved in our son's life alongwith VERY cold in laws and that is adding to the mental burden. Good God why aren't there films and books and songs about how hard this is?

Because for some bizarre reason it's extremely taboo to admit that parenthood isn't all sunshine and roses and maybe because the way the world is now it's way harder to be a parent because people just aren't supportive like they used to be.

And I feel your pain on the uninvolved family. I can't complain too much because my side of the family is gushing over mine but my husband's family could not possibly care less! We weren't really surprised though. They've always treated him differently because he was an illegitimate child. But it's hard because I see how much it hurts him that they ignore her.

Also the song thing. Maybe they secretly have all along. I mean rock-a-bye baby is all about baby's falling to their deaths. 😅😂

@RunningFromSköll I am sorry your partner is going through that. It is so so painful. I lost my mum very early and my dad moved on with someone else. The coldness from my in laws was totally unexpected as my husband was the favourite till very recently!

Yes, the world is now overall colder to babies and parents, I notice it even when I take my son out to the park, not too many folks cooing over him which was quite common say 20 years ago. The landscape has been corroded by social media and smartphones.

Rock-a-bye baby is so eye opening! Never thought of the back story :D : D

Hey! To whoever is reading this. I’m the OP of this and omg… my baby just turned 2 and it’s amazing!!!! I loveeeee being a mom. She can run, talk a little, tell me what’s wrong, play simple games and gives me kisses and hugs. I’ve never been happier in my life. We go outside and enjoy the sun. We read and cuddle. She’s like my little best friend. She can eat by herself. I only need to clean up afterwards (but it’s not as bad as she’s getting better at holding the fork). She sleeps 12 hours, can get out of her bed by herself. There are some days when she’s especially difficult. Of course. She has the typical tantrums when she gets frustrated. Throws herself on the ground and screams hits and bites. I just try to make her feel heard and loved. She usually calms down. And when nothing helps I just turn on the TV and play on my phone. It’s soooo much easier. Sometimes I miss her being small though!!!! She’s pretty heavy to carry around. So to anyone who is struggling. It gets better!!!!

Lovely to come back and update. Thanks OP!

I‘m happy to help. I heard it gets even better at around 3 and I can’t wait. I want to know what’s going on inside her head. I want to read to her and play silly games.