No sleep working mum feeling broken

[Eeyore85]

Hello I am a ftm. My lo is 12months old. Most days I love being a mum. I love my baby and would do anything for my family.

But I am really struggling. I work late evenings to help support our family. My little boy doesn't sleep well. Never has really some nights are great but most of the time he ends up in our bed. I am the one who looks after him everyday no help until my husband comes home. I am absolutely exhausted. I feel I am grieving my former self, I have no time to exercise unless it is walking with the pram I used to swim and run. My figure and my body are in bad shape. It is affecting my confidence and it is affecting our marriage. I never have a moments peace at the moment, I have no family to help even for an hour. I am just struggling and wanted to write my feelings down. I just don't know who I am anymore. I am so sad not everyday, but getting some sleep would help. Any suggestions he is very clingy to me he will go till about 1am in his room then just wants to be with us. But then we can't get comfy none of us. One parents ends up on the sofa.
Cc doesn't work he is relentless with crying.
Just needed an outlet

You talk like you are doing this on your own and you are not! I doubt your DH is half as tired as you!
He works, you work, you BOTH have a baby.
You need to start handing baby over and taking the tough times in turn its the only way.

He does help when he can but he has a manual job he gets home for bedtime then I go to work till 11pm and up whenever lo decides 5.30am 6am. He works 6days. I know I am not a single mum. But I am just struggling with myself that's all.

Does co sleeping help? I work full time and it was the only way for me to be able to get some sleep. Start off in own bed but come into mine on first wake up.

So essentially you’re working 2 jobs- all day as a SAHP and then half the night in paid employment. Resulting in zero down time. You don’t even get proper weekends because your partner works 6 days a week. Of course you’re exhausted and that’s before you even bring the bad sleep into it! Can you afford to put baby in nursery or use a childminder, and work during conventional hours instead? Does your partner really need to do 6 day weeks?

To fix the sleep the obvious one is revisit sleep training, it’s to be expected that when you do CC that they are relentless with it initially so not sure what you were expecting there… but equally there are more gentle methods that can work, they will just take longer than the cry based methods. Or embrace the co sleeping and get a bigger bed! But even if sleep improves it won’t change all of the above. I know financially sometimes needs must but I don’t think your set up is sustainable and you’re running yourself into the ground.

Thank you for your message, unfortunately yes he is self employed so needs to work as do I. Unfortunately we can't afford childcare. I know this phase with no sleep will pass, I don't wish my life away but I appreciate your feedback yes I think we will have to try sleep training again. Everything would be much better with some sleep 😴

Hello yes it does help he cone in to our bed at around 12ish then only wakes a little. But it is so uncomfortable sleeping on edge of bed unable to get comfy x

We have just bought a bigger bed for this reason

Yes get a super king size bed even if it means you have to take the door off the hinges to get into the room.