Two year old tantrums

[herbaltea21]

I'm really in the trenches of the terrible twos atm.
My sons is 2.5 years, he has a speech and communication delay. His speech is actually coming on a lot in the last couple months? But he doesn't speak sentences just yet. He does point and communication by winging, does that count 🙈
I'm really struggling with the tantrums. The thing I struggle the most with is the hitting. If he's not happy about soemthing or soemthing is overwhelming him he hits including other people. He seems to go through phases where it dies down and then others when it escalates. This week has been a bad week.
How do I deal with this? The tantrums are just really getting on top of me now.
Anyone else at this point?

Hi,
my DD is 2.2 and can have some epic tantrums. I would say some days are worse than others and mostly they are frequent but don’t last too long if that makes sense? She also hits out and this comes and goes, better then worse etc. she does this when we say no and also knocks things to the floor (not so much throwing just swiping her hand at whatever is near). She also hits out when she feels threatened, so if people are overbearing or she feels they are too close and she’s not in the mood. We have dealt with it by saying it’s ok to feel frustrated/angry etc but we don’t hit, hitting hurts and makes (whoever) sad. She now seems to understand as she repeats (whoever) is sad? Then we encourage her to say sorry or give a cuddle (if family). Oddly enough, she doesn’t ever do it to children, just adults, which makes me think it’s definitely feeling threatened. I would say she can have extreme emotions, very happy and fun or very upset/angry. Someone told me children don’t just come in to the world knowing what’s right and wrong, it’s our job to teach them. (I was in tears every time she hit) and being consistent with how we approach it seems to be working, however I’m sure we’ll have bad days with it again. When tantrumming, I offer cuddles, if she accepts she usually calms quickly, if not I leave her to get on with it then try again a few mins later.

I felt the terrible twos were much worst due to my son's speech delay. It was like an extra layer of frustration because of his lack of speech on top of the frustration he was acting out on. So I definitely feel where you are coming from.

I started to make a mental note of what the triggers were for my son's tantrums. Over time I realised most were due to transitioning from one activity or place to another. So after some research I implemented a visual timetable for the day. At the beginning of the day we sat down and I explained what we were doing that day with pictures and lay them out. So today we have to: eat breakfast, get dressed, swimming lesson, play, lunch, activities etc.

Where possible I allowed him a choice. So this afternoon we can do crafts or go to the park, what would you like to do?

This really helped him. So if he wanted to go to the park I could show him what had to happen before the park.

The most helpful thing I read was something along the lines of "tantrums are like trains going through a tunnel. The only way to the other side is to go through it." So basically the child needs to get their frustration out before being able to calm down. It's awful to watch but you just have to be nearby and try to limit damage to the child and yourself. Once they are calm you can then talk about their emotions and why they are upset etc.

I hope that helps a bit.