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Original poster

Ideas for involving baby’s Dad

11 replies

MHMQ · 08/12/2022 00:43

We’re 1st time parents and have an 8 week old baby boy. Long story short, I (mum) have sort of got on with doing most things with the baby (feeds, washes, nappies etc). My partner has offered to help but I feel guilty waking him as due to financial difficulties, he has been working full-time including some weekends and long hours. As a result he has done very little with the baby and I feel it is 1) affecting their bonding 2) making me slightly resentful

Baby is mainly breastfed.
do you have any ideas/tips for what dad could do with a baby this young that may help with the bonding?

thank you!

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Tumilnaughts · 08/12/2022 01:08

If you're breastfeeding then Dad can do everything except that. I often will feed our baby and then hand him over to Dad for burping and cuddling. He occasionally will do a contact nap on Dad too. But Dad can give your son a bath, play with him during awake windows and settle him to sleep after a feed.
It can be hard but your husband needs to take control of his own relationship with your child and not rely too much on you to tell him when he can be involved.

ErrolTheDragon · 08/12/2022 01:19

Also taking him out for walks - in a pushchair or better, a sling or front carrier.

NerrSnerr · 08/12/2022 01:22

What we always did was when my husband got home from work I went for a long bath (and then read in bed after

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NerrSnerr · 08/12/2022 01:23

Sorry posted too soon

*afterwards

Obviously if baths aren't for you go for a walk, to another room to read or something. Just some time for you!

Coyoacan · 08/12/2022 01:28

Bathing the baby is a wonderful activity and very bonding. I suggested to my ex that he bath our baby for that very reason, but he turned down the opportunity as he thought it would be work. His loss

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/12/2022 01:29

They need their time. Weekend mornings, watching the football, whatever means he's holding the baby, chatting to the baby, generally being together.

I once came in to DH snuggling with DD watching Scarface (her face was in DH's neck, she couldn't see). Not my choice but it worked for them.

toomuchlaundry · 08/12/2022 01:34

Bathing is a good thing. He does all nappy changes when available. DH used to settle DS after breastfeeding at night as DS thought I had 3 boobs as two were never enough and needed time to settle to sleep sometimes. So DH would take him so I could sleep for awhile between feeds

allfurcoatnoknickers · 08/12/2022 01:56

Tumilnaughts · 08/12/2022 01:08

If you're breastfeeding then Dad can do everything except that. I often will feed our baby and then hand him over to Dad for burping and cuddling. He occasionally will do a contact nap on Dad too. But Dad can give your son a bath, play with him during awake windows and settle him to sleep after a feed.
It can be hard but your husband needs to take control of his own relationship with your child and not rely too much on you to tell him when he can be involved.

This is what we did too. DH works absolutely bonkers hours in banking, but he still did a lot of work with DS, and this was before he could WFH. I'd do the night feed and he'd change nappies, burp and settle him and give him snuggles. He also used to choose his outfits every day before he went to work. Some of them were a bit odd, but it was very sweet that he put so much effort into it.

Jingleoverthatway · 08/12/2022 07:28

My husband did a lot of lying on the sofa cuddling DS while watching the football or playing playstation of an evening while I went to bed early. He'd also take him for a long walk at the weekends so I could nap or have a bath.

I hate doing bath time with a passion so DH normally does that.

alasangne · 08/12/2022 07:49

Get him doing some bathing and nappy changes. If he's offering then why shouldn't he wake up and change a nappy in the night. This hard graft helps bonding.

TheOinkySplit · 08/12/2022 09:01

Yeah defiantly bathing and maybe he could try a baby massage afterwards? Just cuddling on the sofa is fine aswell. Looking at one of the black and white baby books for 5 mins?

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