How to manage childcare when DD is off Nursery unwell

[Jadey31]

Hi All, after some advice please.

My DD is 2 and has been at nursery for 6 months now.

All was going really well then this last couple month we have both been constantly ill ever since. I currently work 3 days a week as a design engineer so my role is quite demanding and I struggle to get my work done in 3 days but I don't want to go full time just yet and miss out on days with my DD. I've probably only worked a full work (3 Days) twice in the last 2 months after having to take time off with either myself or my DD being poorly. I've had tonsillitis twice and my daughter has had HFM, conjunctivitis and now an ear and chest infection along with high temperatures along the way. I understand it's the time of year and kids picks up every virus going but how do you cope with childcare when they aren't at nursery?

We cannot rely on grandparents/family as my in laws live nearly 3 hours away and my parents both work full time. I'm still BF and I really wanted her to self wean and I'm not ready to stop yet so when she is poorly all she wants is me. My DH feels bad but I call him the back of house as he keeps everything ticking over in the background lol.

My boss is really understanding and I've started to tell him to not pay me sick days as I feel awful! I feel this understanding phase will pass soon though which I don't blame him but I just don't know what do it.

Do I quit my job and wait til she starts pre school in another year? My worry with that is she's currently at a nursery which goes all the way to secondary school and if I take her out of nursery she may not get a place at the pre school.

Do I ask my boss to put my on an hourly rate rather than salary?

Do I go freelance and become my own boss?

Any advice is appreciated as I have no idea what to do

I breastfed my children til 2/3 so I know what it’s like. But: dad has to share the job with you.

do not give up your job because you are breastfeeding.

Others have given you the only sensible choice - DH does 50% while you work outside of the home.

You're doing great. It's so difficult and I completely sympathise. It will get better and you'll be grateful in the long run that you persisted.

I've breastfed toddlers. She knows you are in the house. If you left her with DH and went to the office for the day she would probably settle for a cuddle and a beaker of water/cows milk.

Thanks everyone.

So today I had to be on site at 7am and my husband had her until nap time then I took over at 12pm as she'll only go down with milk at home so only need to take 2.5 hours off so this may be how we manage it in the future.

Do you have Flexi with work?
My DS goes to nursery slightly longer than he need to do my part time job. I work mornings only and he goes to nursery 4 mornings a week plus a full day. I build up my hours a little bit each week so I can take a flexi day off if/when nursery is closed.
It works quite well and is a lot better than leaving employment completely.

Went through very similar a couple of months ago (apart from the fact that myself & husband shared the time off). Thought my employer would lose patience & felt so bad but there was nothing I could do. Had six weeks of missing time off work but we have finally got over it & have had a month of no sickness. Feels endless when it is happening but it is a phase & hopefully it will end for you soon. I think you will regret it if this is the reason you chose to stay at home.

Share equally with DH - alternate whose turn it is. And honestly, just leave him to it, he'll be fine with her. You're setting yourself up badly in the long run if you quit your job or acquiesce to all childcare needs. Men can't get more confident with caring for their children if we don't give them space to do so! I know it's tough, but it will get easier and your needs are important too.