Nap time dread

[Steph95]

Hi mumsnetters

im a first time mum and have a 5 week old son. I’m finding myself in this vicious cycle of nap times only way he will nap is in a sling or on me (this is a daytime issue) at night time he will settle in his bed side and give us good 2/3 hour stints. It’s a snuz pod and we have the incline setting on. From around 2 weeks we noticed he struggled with this wind and this is we’re the nap cycle would start as he was clearly in discomfort and unable to sleep. We were told it was colic and changed bottles and started him on colief I was never convinced it was colic as he didn’t do the cries for 3 hours a day ect upon research I thought it may be silent reflux as he fit more the bill for this he is currently on baby gaviscon has been for 5 days now and I have seen some improvement but still to early to say. Last few times I have taken him out in the pram he will scream and get himself really worked up. I begin to dread taking him out as he will just not settle and then gets over tired. Same thing in the day he will only sleep ether on me or in the sling if I try get him to nap any other way he fights his sleep and gets over tired. Is this normal for a newborn to fight sleep so much? He never gets drousy from feeding and it takes a lot of effort to get him to sleep in the day. I’m i creating bad habits

It is very normal for a newborn to just want contact naps. Look up the 4th trimester. They don’t know they’re separate from you and need your closeness.

mine only contact napped until 8 months. This isn’t to say you will be the same as you may be able to try some things to put your baby down when they are bigger. For now, I'd say it’s far less stressful to accept the situation and allow baby to nap on you.

You definitely aren't creating bad habits by holding him for naps or having him nap in the sling.
I can't answer about the silent reflux but my DD would struggle to nap anywhere but on me in the day. She did fall asleep while feeding though but I'm guessing the reflux has something to do with your DS not falling asleep feeding.
I know it's tough but just try and embrace the sling naps as much as you can.
My DD never napped in her cot at all until 12 months, she's always been a barnacle and wanting to be close. Some babies just need extra comfort for longer.
Their sleep is so up and down over the first 2 years that you'll find most things will be a phase.
Have a look at the fourth trimester if you haven't already as that gives some useful info.
But around 12 weeks his sleep will change again as he goes through what everyone calls the regression but it's when their sleep cycles change into more adult cycles and it can be a bit of a transition period.
I found that when my DD had a really rough patch of naps/sleep it was over within a couple of weeks. It was always about adjusting to what she needed each time and usually with her it was extra comfort or a bit of extra rocking.
We went through a phase of her only napping in the car, that one was costly haha!
Congratulations on your baby. xx

Congratulations on your little boy!

Sounds almost exactly like how my daughter slept at that age! In fact she hardly napped even when ON me, and only did longer shifts at night, never more than two hours if we were lucky. She hardly ever even fed to sleep just like your son. It's bloody tough, especially when everyone else's kids seem to be having a feed and then happily napping for ages. Obviously go back to GP if you're worried about reflux, but as other posters have said, it could just be developmental. Colic medicines and baby gaviscon didn't do anything for us unfortunately.

GOOD NEWS: From 5 months old her sleep improved a lot, from around when she started to roll. Basically as soon as she became mobile she was a lot more settled, I think partly because of a mild wind issue and partly because she has always been very nosy and was happy to be able to move around. I didn't do anything, she just stopped contact napping in her own time.

BAD (?) NEWS: Compared to other kids she still hardly (sometimes never!) naps at 18 months, but she's very happy and healthy. Now goes nursery a few days and often is still awake playing when older kids are sleeping. I've accepted that it's just how she is.

Hang in there, and if you are feeling miserable and anxious don't be afraid to ask for help for yourself too. And don't let any of these live laugh love types make you feel bad for not finding it easy. It's not, but it does get easier.

Thanks for the reassuring replies nice to know it is normal having a newborn you cannot seem to put down haha. Would rather he sleeps then not sleep as in over tired baby is no fun! Any tips on the not enjoying the pram I say not enjoy but really I mean hate I’m a non driver so not ideal he hates the carry cot I think his reflux has alot to do with that as it’s laying flat.

Very normal.
You can’t create bad habits at this age. Don’t worry about sleep habits until 4-6 months. They change so quickly, forget so quickly and adapt so quickly at this age, there’s really no point.

At this age you just have to do whatever you have to do to get through it.

Do you have a car seat attachment for the pram? If so you could try using that for short walks, he may prefer being more upright while moving.

My baby was the exact same. It's totally normal and they just want to be close. My baby also hated the pram, I used to make it cosy in there with a blanket over the bottom and played white noise. If she still got upset then I would transfer her to the sling. She gradually got better as she got used to it x

My baby also hated the car or pram. Basically just wanted to be held all the time so the sling was essential. She started going in the pram happily at around 5 months.

Hi, I'm so glad you posted this. I have a 5 week old (DD2) and am starting yo think she has reflux too.
Firstly, feeding was really painful from the start so I had her latch checked and she has a high pallet so it's possible some air is getting in. One boob is also very full all the time and clearly overwhelming her, she often chockes and coughs. The latch seems better now, but the flow on kne boob is still fast.

She is vomiting quite a lot, like the whole feed, once or twice a day.
Sounds congested but not a runny nose.
Often has mucus/ stringy poos.
Hiccups.
She was doing nice 1-2hr long naps but this week I can't put her down, after 5mins she wakes up squirming and is clearly uncomfortable. Likes to sleep on me in the day.
Night time is OK she will do a 3-4 hour stretch, then 2 hours after that. But I know that will all change come the 4 month regression if we have tummy issues.

I don't know whether it's wind from a bad latch, reflux, or intolerance?! I'm not sure where to start really.

I can't help with the contact naps, my 6 week old is currently sleeping on my shoulder and has been all day today :(

I moved from using the pram to using our buggy on a really laid back but not totally flat setting and he hasn't cried on a walk yet, he used to scream the whole walk in the pram. I think he likes he can see me pushing him and he's not just looking at the pram top

He's far too little to create bad habits! Just try and survive this period. Between 4-6 months are when you really want to encourage independant sleeping before sleep training becomes an option

Hi,

All of this sounds very similar to the struggles we had/have with my now 9 week old. We're working though process of elimination trying to make it all a little bit better.

Have you had baby checked for tongue tie? A high palate can be an indication of tongue tie. As can a poor/shallow latch, clicking when feeding and milk dribbling from the mouth during a feed.

Try hand expressing off the first bit of each feed to ease the speed of the milk releasing and hopefully baby might stop gagging/chocking and taking in lots of air at the beginning of the feed.

We've also cut out dairy and about to cut soya too. I think it's improved but could also be a result of baby getting bigger and other changes we've made. I'll carry on until after Christmas and then slowly re introduce and see what happens.

Geranium1984 Sound like reflux and also maybe a intolerance? I know that can effect bowl movements contact your health visitor or the GP. Yes my son has had a persistent blocked nose since he was 2 weeks cannot seem to shift it at all I was advised of HV to contact GP and they have given us a appointment.
justanotherlaura How old when you swapped to the buggy option? I can take him out in the sling and we he will be happy as Larry Just not a ideal solution to all outings especially if out most of the day. Yes DD1 is extremely nosey too think that’s half the battle with the naps sometimes as he has a fear he is missing out on somthing haha

Thanks @babyfeed is so difficult to know what's causing it or if there is even a problem.

I've got an appointment with the health Visitor and my 6 week gp appointment next week so I'll keep logging all the potential symptoms this week and hopefully make a plan. I feel like cutting out dairy will be the first step.
Yes, she's been checked for tongue tie, and the tongue function is good. She didn't meet the points threshold for cut, although as you say, with the high pallet I've got some exercises and techniques to improve the latch. If that doesn't work we could cut.
I do hand express before feeding off the bad boob, is still a high flow though. I might call one of the bf help lines and see what I can do to reduce supply to that boob.