hi, I'm just looking for a bit of advice or reassurance that this will pass maybe!
My 10 month old (breastfed) has never been a particularly good sleeper (I've been known to post in the sleep section), but gently over time he's had better stretches and nights, and my partner and I have shared the nights. In the evenings I feed him and then my partner does bedtime routine and putting down to sleep and my son has been and continues to be perfectly happy with that. He's a good eater when it comes to solids, and he's pretty happy during the day.
Three weeks ago we all came down with a stomach bug but recovered pretty quickly. Through the illness and the week after my son was breastfeeding more than usual and I was offering him it a lot, as to prevent dehydration of course and also as he was off his solids for a bit while recovering.
Since then he's been a nightmare at night. I don't know if it's the illness that triggered it, or if that's a coincidence, but I am finding it very very hard to deal. He loves my partner in the day, and still happy with him at bedtime, but any time after that he screams, and I mean SCREAMS hysterically, for unlimited amounts of time, unless I breastfeed him. If I try to cuddle or rock him he screams as well unless I offer a feed. He will let me cuddle/rock him after a short feed, but kind of pushes away and seems tense and not happy with the situation and it's hard to put him down as he wakes easily. If he wakes even 5 min after he goes down, he screams again unless offered the breast. So he's waking and feeding about 6-7 times on average, sometimes taking an hour or so to go back down, and it's exhausting for me. I have him all day and then all night and can't take any time to myself, (other than during his day naps, but I find I need to sleep then to function), and I'm meant to be working in the evenings but I can't as he is constantly waking and screaming for me.
After about 2 weeks of this last week I said I couldn't take it and we needed to do some sort of sleep training. We settled on a gradual retreat type approach where my partner stayed in the room with him and offered reassurance, stroking singing etc but he got so worked up and hysterical that we stopped after 30 min or so and he only calmed down when I fed him.
Has anyone had anything similar? Is this related to the illness? Or is it some sort of developmental thing, separation anxiety? Does anyone have any advice on how to gently get him to settle for my partner again and to cut down on how much he is breastfeeding without him screaming his head off?