Anxiety about baby becoming ill

[Leolady11]

I'm a FTM and my LO is 15wks old, since she was born I have had quite severe health anxiety, specifically around her catching any bugs/viruses. I have had limited visitors & have been very strict on handwashing and no kissing. However now she is that little bit older and stronger, I'd really like my wider family & friends to meet her but I'm struggling with the thought of people holding her, especially as it's cold & flu season and also news of all this Strep A and Scarlet Fever going around. I'm just wanting some advice and reassurance I suppose. She is my pride and joy and I want to have a happy family Christmas with our first baby, show her off and for her to meet and know her family but the thought also turns my stomach. It makes me so sad that hardly anyone has met my beautiful girl but I'm so scared of her becoming ill. For context I was never like this before giving birth and I have already sought professional help, I know my behaviour is extreme and could potentially damage her social skills, and also could prevent her from building natural immunity. Unfortunately knowing this & trying to rationalise doesn't seem to help! I'm working on it, but would love to hear any words of encouragement, experience or advice in the meantime please. Thank you.

hi, first of all, congratulations on becoming a mum 🌻
I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety. I understand, I struggle with it myself, and when it comes to our babies we just want to protect them and make sure they're ok. And it's easy to get caught up in health anxiety, especially after a pandemic.
However it's not good for you, or your baby, for you to be completely shielding her. Babies need to be exposed to things to build up immunity. I'm not saying she should be exposed to lots of children and lots of horrible viruses - but some exposure to people is really really beneficial to her. Part of the reason that some of these diseases are currently worse is because children were so shielded during Covid and didn't build up immunity like they normally would.
Obviously take it in small steps that you're comfortable with - take her to see friends and family, but they don't necessarily have to hold her. See them in smaller groups rather than a big get together. Take her to a baby group or class but maybe one you know is smaller.
She will get ill. My baby is 10 months old and he's had a couple colds, and a stomach bug, and a nasty cough one time that he caught from his cousin where we went to A&E just in case. He's got a cold right now. He's starting nursery soon and I know there will be an onslaught of illness then too. It is not pleasant, always upsetting and often worrying. But there's no way to avoid these things and avoiding them is more harmful (unless of course there are some serious preexisting health conditions).
Also I would really really recommend speaking to someone about your anxiety as it sounds like it's quite serious. Could you ask your GP about counselling or something like this? I mean this in the kindest way possible - I have found counselling to be a lifeline when I've been incredibly anxious. My counsellor had me do a particular calming technique which I found super helpful, I won't go into it as this is already long but feel free to PM me if you'd like x

I have had limited visitors & have been very strict on handwashing and no kissing

in my experience those that parent like this have children that are the ones that constantly have sniffles and are invariably the ones that always catch everything going around. And get it worse than every other child

Omg I could have written this myself. I’m taking my 6 week old into my old work to see them but now I wish I never said I would! Hate the thought of so many people holding her and potentially passing on illnesses. This Strep A business has only added to my anxiety. But I’m trying not to be so paranoid as pp said, I think it’s good to expose babies to some germs to build their immune system. It’s just hard because babies can’t tell u when they’re sick or how sick they are. That’s my worry.

It would be very reasonable if you to drop your colleagues a line such as this

“so keen to see you all and introduce my new arrival, but with all the bugs and infections going around I’m trying to be really careful before Xmas, especially given he’s so tiny. Ok for me to swing by in the new year?”

@Goodgrief82 good idea loll, thanks! :)

Thank you, completely agree with everything you've said. I know she will pick up bugs, it's inevitable, but I've just built it up so much in my head now. One of her cousins is nursery age and I'm so worried about her meeting him in particular... I have already reached out to my GP, I'm aware I need support and this isn't healthy. Hopefully things will settle down soon :)

So hard isn't it? I really wasn't prepared for the onslaught of anxiety and worry when having a baby! I was actually a calm and level-headed person before believe it or not 😅I'm sure things will get easier as time goes on.

Is your experience either working as a GP or a medical researcher? thought not.

Your post is anecdata and not very helpful.

@Leolady11 its awful hun, I worry about every little thing. I think it’s worse because she’s my first. Feel free to message me if u ever need to talk because I completely understand. Feel like I’m driving myself nuts

@Demdemz Me too, the mental load of being a new mum (or just a mum in general I'm sure) is so overwhelming and I feel like it's never really spoken about. I know I'm being irrational at times & always thinking worst-case scenario but something just takes over! I'm blaming the hormones lol.