Just wondering what's normal for this age and how to help dd if it's not "normal". Warning long.
3.5 yr old, been at nursery for almost a year, started two afternoons a week, now goes 8-4 two days a week since September.
The first thing is she refuses to join in any crafts or activities apart from singing. She loves all sorts of crafts, she asks to do them all the time at home but she won't take part at nursery. Anything baking, painting, making Christmas decorations. It's not so much that she doesn't want to take part that worries me, she gets extremely upset and starts crying and screaming no. The nursery have to repeatedly tell her it's okay and they're not going to force her, to calm her down. I can't get an explanation out of her apart from "I don't want to"
Secondly she's extremely attached to adults. She spends all day holding an adults hand or sitting on her lap. They repeatedly try to tell her to go play and get her included in games but she wants to be attached to an adult at all times. I've asked nursery if this is normal and they give a non committal "Ehh sort of" response.
And lastly is how she talks about her "friends" I know at this age they're not old enough for proper friendships. But she has a "best friend" outside of nursery who she adores and has no issue with, plus a couple of kids she'll tolerate. However in nursery she constantly tells me she has no friends, the other kids don't like her and tell her to go away. I know this isn't true because I spoke to the nursery and I've seen her at nursery birthday parties. The other children seem lovely and try to get her to come play and she looks at them as if they are alien. If nursery pairs her up with a child who can convince her to play she is the happiest girl in the world and spends days telling me how so and so played
with her and is her "new best friend". Today for example she told me "Jeff was very very mean and naughty today" because he had said he was coming to her house. After some conversation the best I can get out of her is that a little boy said he would like to come over and play with her and DD thinks this is a horrible suggestion.🙄
Sometimes I wonder why on earth I'm sending her to nursery for her to spend six hours holding an adults hand, refusing to play and screaming if they suggest an activity. Surely she'd be better at home where she's happy.
But the 1/20 days she comes home beaming saying she's made a friend and showing me all the wonderful songs she's learnt, plus the support with speech therapy the nursery give and how soon she'll have to go to school and they'll be no pulling her out makes me think it's best she stays and works through the issues now.
Any advice? Thank you.