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Parenting

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Original poster

My son opened the door this morning, to accept a parcel, how concerned should I be?

21 replies

QuintessentialShadow · 01/02/2008 10:17

Now this is not usual.
But my son has been off school for two weeks following a tonsillectomy.

He was asleep in his bed, and my dh asleep in our bed when I left to take my youngest to nurseery.

When I came home our son had woken up, got dressed, come downstairs to watch tv (he said he knew I had just popped to the nursery with brother), and opened the door to the postman and accepted a parcel.

He has always been instructed not to open the door on his own, but to let a grown up do it, or stand behind him while he opens it.

My DH was still asleep.

My dh is mad with me. Or himself. At least, he is mad.

I would have thought that our son would climb into daddys bed when waking up.

My dh usually gets up at nine. I left the house five to nine. Today he slept til 10.

I think you cant reasonably blame anybody here. What do you think?

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binkleandflip · 01/02/2008 10:19

no blame, just lock the door.

Cappuccino · 01/02/2008 10:20

how old is he?

Original poster

QuintessentialShadow · 01/02/2008 10:22

He will be 6 in April.

We cant "lock" the door, it is one of those doors that are always locked when when you try open from the outside, and open if you try open from the inside.

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summersun06 · 01/02/2008 10:22

This is not your fault QuintessentialShadow, it is scary but its happerned and there is nothing you can do about it now. I guess all we can do when we make mistakes is to learn from them. Just wondering how old DD is?

BalletMum · 01/02/2008 10:24

Our door is the same but we actually lock it from the inside with the key so we are all locked in. If you can't lock it from inside I would change the lock. He might walk out onto the road.

snowleopard · 01/02/2008 10:25

I think it's not such a big deal. I mean you're right to tell him not to, but actually there's very little risk and in a way is shows a kind of independence that is normal at his age..

Eulalia · 01/02/2008 10:25

Depends on his age surely? Realistically what are the chances of their being anyone undesirable on the doorstep at that time of the day? I have to admit my 5 year old opens the door to let her older brother in or the postman at the weekends although we are always around then.

We live in the country and very safe here. I'd be more concerned in a city centre.

Its hard though isn't it - lock the door OK but what if there is a fire (more likely than bad person on the doorstep) and your son can't find the key to open the door.

binkleandflip · 01/02/2008 10:25

so you dont lock it at night?

would put a chain on it up high then where ds cant reach.

My dd (5) is quite keen to open the door as well - it is a race between her and the dog but I always leave the snick on

YeahBut · 01/02/2008 10:26

How can you be to blame if you are not there, FGS? Surely the responsibility lies with the carer who is physically present.

hanaflower · 01/02/2008 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

QuintessentialShadow · 01/02/2008 10:28

I cant lock the door from the inside, when I am on the outside...

I think he blames me that I did not wake him up. I guess that is it, I should have woken him up and told him "I am leaving now, our son is still sleeping". Yesterday I took him with me in the car, as he had been awake since 6 am, but I wouldnt want to wake him up when he could be perfectly happy in his bed.

6 in April, for those who wondered about his age.

It is a very safe and quiet neighbourhood, but this is London...

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stleger · 01/02/2008 10:32

Is he able to see from inside who is outside - check first for the postman and open, leave it shut for anyone else? (In our case religious people, men selling 'art', people with electronic goods, scratch cards....)

Alambil · 01/02/2008 10:32

"Knowing" your OH, he is directing the blame to you to let himself off the hook!

I don't think DS is to blame; of course he isn't - he just did what he thought was best, however I do think your OH needs a word!

Is there any way to get a relatively cheap bolt on it? Mind you - you can't bolt it from outside, DS couldn't do it behind you (as DH was in bed) so wouldn't work anyway...

Maybe a gentle reminder to DS about opening doors with adults? (I have the same rule - DS needs reminding every so often)

Hope all is well anyway, get yourself over to the sanctuary!

wannaBe · 01/02/2008 10:35

what is your dh afraid might have happened? At 6 he should know not to run out into the road, and seriously how many undesireable people come knocking at the door at 9:00 in the morning, and even if it had been someone with questionable motives, your dh was in the house so ds could have called to him. And child abductors don't generally knock the door because as a rule they don't expect the child to answer it.

Eulalia · 01/02/2008 11:57

My dd is 6 in April too. We have a busy road right outside the house but she doesn't go near it. Children are fairly responsible at that age. If your dh is that worried about things then he should ensure he gets himself up.

Original poster

QuintessentialShadow · 01/02/2008 12:00

I think it was just the shock, he has calmed down again. I dont know what would have happened. Doubt the postie take little children! He knows not to go out, and we have no busy roads nearby, only a relatively large front garden, and elderly neighbours.

I would say he was perfectly safe, really.

But I cant really tell my son of for trying to be helpful and self reliant. He was beaming when I came home!

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southeastastra · 01/02/2008 12:02

my ds(6) has done that before. doesn't worry me that much tbh. i can hear him and don't think the postman has much interest in making off with him.

edam · 01/02/2008 12:04

Oh, bless him! I imagine you are going to try to explain to him he must fetch a grown up in future, though... And I suppose the thing to do would be to wake dh. (Personally I'd blame him for sleeping through the doorbell, though, esp. at 9am. )

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 12:07

Can you put a chain lock on the door up high so that he can't open it very far? Is it your only access to the house?

LadyMuck · 01/02/2008 12:08

The issue here though isn't really about whether or not your ds should have opened the door - it was about whwether your dh appreciated that he was solely responsible for ds.

Your son thought that he was being helpful - tbh I really wouldn't say anything to your son - not today anyway. Perhaps make more of a point on a different occasion. But don't deflate him now.

You thought that you were leaving 2 people asleep in the house, but it is not clear that your dh knew that he was "responsible" at that moment in time. I think that it is fair for your dh to be woken in future so that he realises that he is in charge - even if that charge is asleep. I know that I can sleep more deeply if I'm not responsible for the kids. But even if ~I am in bed and responsible for the kids I am likely to be keeping on ear open.

Not worth beating anyone up over though.

Original poster

QuintessentialShadow · 01/02/2008 12:11

Totally agree. The responsible thing to do in the future if a situation like this should occur is to wake dh and tell him I am leaving and he is charge.

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