Worried about social developmental delays in 10.5 month old (premie)

[JLaw1002]

I have a beautiful baby boy who is 10.5 months old, however he was born 6 weeks early, so with "adjusted age" he'd still be around 9 months. Id just like to say first off that I have contacted my local Early Intervention program and am currently on a wait list for an evaluation.. I suppose I'm just looking for hope and if anyone else has been in this boat of worry about developmental delays, specifically in the area of social/language comprehension. He is confirmed to be behind on some areas, but his primary doctor suggests she believes him being 6 weeks early could have a lot to do with the delays, and only gave us the referral for the evaluation because of my anxiety over it. My partner also doesn't seem to be as worried as I am and believes development isn't cookie cutter one size fits and all.

The worry: His eye contact I would describe as so/so, and there's almost always things you can do to get him to look at you, but can sometimes be very fleeting, depending on his mood.. and if we're outside or in a very stimulating environment, forget it. If I'm holding him and point to something within eyesight, he will sometimes look at it, but if I do a more complex point like at the ceiling or further out of sight, he will not look. If I say something like "where is the ", he has no reaction because he doesn't understand whatsoever. If the room is quiet and he is playing contently, if you say his name I would say about maybe 50% of the time he will turn to look at you, but I can't tell if he is just responding to the sound of my voice. Sometimes if he's really into his toys or environment, which is a lot of the time, it feels like he doesn't even care if you're there, aside from maybe quick glances at you. He will smile, but as of about September he no longer really smiled back at just people making faces like he used to, you typically have to give him some kind of interaction he likes to bring it on. There are some concerns with his imitating too, he is very hit or miss with it. He started to briefly wave about 6-7 weeks ago, but he is super inconsistent with it. The first time he did it, it was at the door doing it back to someone, and he has also done it to us from across the room while eating in his chair, but then he stopped doing it consistently... and he has only done it on purpose maybe 5-6 times since then (the last time was a couple days ago). He started figuring out how to put his hands together to clap a couple weeks ago, but only tries it very rarely now. He can say "mama", which he started saying a lot about 3 weeks ago, but he has now since stopped saying it when said to him, and will now only usually let out a quick "ma" on occasion when he's upset. He has never pointed at things himself, only reached out his arms towards something he wants. He has never has shown any interest at all in engaging in play with us, doesn't hand us toys, doesn't cover his face to play peek a boo back, etc.

The good: Never had any apparent sensory issues, always loved to be held, always slept fine, never hyper fixates on one toy. His fine motor skills are great. His pincer grasp is spot on, and he is great with picking things up and using his hands. He figured out how to undo zippers and knots a few weeks ago! He is very observant of his surroundings and is always looking to explore and play with his toys. He is very capable of smiling and laughing, loves being tickled, lifted into the air, silly sounds being made at him, and doing peek a boo to him. If I do peek a boo next to his crib and duck down, he will come over to the side and look for me. He has his likes already, he really loves our cats and gets very excited when they enter the room. He knows songs very well, he recognizes certain songs if we put them on for him because certain songs make him smile and calm. Also knows characters well, he will smile at still images of a character he likes from a Baby Sensory channel on YouTube. Although he doesn't point, he does reach for things he wants. He babbles up a storm, and we've heard many different sounds from him. If you move your finger on your lip ans make "bu bu bu" sounds, or if you make an "aaaaaaaaaah!" sound, he will sometimes do it back to you. He HAS said "mama", and he has also said "wawa" (lol) both while listening to us say them.

I keep trying to tell myself it could all make sense due to him being early, because he also didn't start (army) crawling until he was 9 months old, and didn't couldn't roll completely over until he was 5 months. Any reassurances would be appreciated.

Get the evaluation and sign up to any baby groups for babies with delays
They wont harm him for sure
Supplement communication with makaton and visual clues

Was there any reason for being prem? Has he had general genetic testing like for chromosomes?

he needs assessment and if needs be early intervention
There are assessments like griffiths and bayley scale to see where he is at and plan intervention if needed

I'd suggest having a hearing tested as part of the evaluation even if it was checked at birth. Do remember there is a lot of focus on development and tracking your baby which puts the pressure on parents to 'fit the curve'. Some babies particularly premature ones will be 'behind' at this stage but they do catch up. I hope the assessments you have are reassuring and come up with some helpful advice.

My daughter was born 10 weeks early. We were always told to compare her to expectations as if she had been born on her expected due date but to also remember that these were averages. That is, even adjusted for age, some babies would be more advanced, some a little less and not to worry too much.

Having said that we did have regular check ups and she seemed to catch up with her peers by the age of 5 or so.

Try not to stress too much but accept any support offered...it won't hurt even if its not needed.

Sounds pretty good to me.

Babies develop at their own pace. Some focus on physical developments, some on language some on gross motor skills, some on fine motor skills.

Some learn a new skill and then don't use it again for ages. Almost like they've ticked it off and pack it away until they need it again.

Try not to worry.

He sounds great! There's a huge range of development at this early stage so try not to worry - my friend has a baby who walked at 9 months and was saying words clearly by 12 months, I had a potato (born at 41 weeks) who walked at 17 months and only started saying anything clearly just before 2. Now 2.5 and you'd not know there was a gap between them just a year ago.

Do you go to many groups and see what similar age kids are up to because there will be a huge range.

I have a 10 month old, nothing you've said sounds wrong to me :) Mine is only on the mamamamama stage, no distinct mama. No crawling, only just started to weight bear. My first was walking independently at this age! I've no concerns at all, she's happy, healthy, curious and developing fine. If a little lazily, I think she is just a chilled character compared to my boy.

They're all so different but by 3ish they're roughly on par. Do get hearing checked again (although mine is the same as yours with paying attention), and speak to gp/hv about concerns. I bet if you fill in the 1 year review sheet you'll see baby is not doing badly at all. I've declined the appointment this time round as she's sailing through it all. Sometimes people just aren't as interesting as a bit of fluff on the floor 😅

Sounds completely normal. My DD was just like that at that age and she's now a happy chatty 2 year old. She was seven weeks early.

if in doubt speak to the health visitor. But it sounds fine to me - mine has just turned 12 months (term baby). Started walking around 7 months and was good with gross motor skills but only began repeating sounds (mama etc) about 4 weeks ago. Has only just linked sounds to certain actions/people - but still not v consistent. She seems fine with fine motor skills and I took her to her 1 year old check with health visitor - they saw her and went through our questionnaire. I wasn’t concerned and they didn’t seem to be either.

The main area of concern is the loss of skills, the regression, rather than whether or not he's meeting milestones. I'd take all the support on offer, as PP said it won't harm him.

Hi @JLaw1002 how is your son doing now? I could have written this post myself word for word - my daughter was prem and is currently 10.5 months and were seeing the exact same pattern of behaviours. Have you seen an improvement in the past 10 months? Would love to hear how your son is doing now.

Thanks!!

Hi Namesname, thank you for asking. If you're here on this thread I know you must be really worried right now, as I was.

So to answer the question have I seen improvement in my son in the last 10 months: absolutely yes. Massively.

His eye contact has been great when it's with people he knows and trusts (like us, his parents), says some people's names when they come in the house ("mama", "dada", "nana"), says well over 100 words, communicates his wants and needs extremely well ("out", "up", "done", "baba", "help", "stop"), can say the entire alphabet and count to 20, can name a bunch of body parts, can tell you what about 2 dozen animals say, looks to us for reactions/sharing moments (joint attention), shares toys and books with us, sings songs with us, plays little chase/hiding games with us, has a great sense of humor, etc.

Do I still have areas of concern? Yes I do. It's still pretty hard to get his attention sometimes, and he's extremely picky about when he responds to his name being called. He doesn't follow instructions very well at all yet. He doesn't seem as interested in other people/kids as much as other toddlers do, in my opinion. I'm hoping these are just personality quirks. (His father is very stubborn, hyper focuses on things, and is also not super social, but never had any diagnosis or anything)

But overall, at this point I'd find it very hard to believe he could have something such as Level 3 (or even Level 2) ASD.

I hope this post helps you or gives you hope in some way. I know how rough it is worrying about our babies like this.

@JLaw1002 thank you so much for your reply - I’ve been driving myself mad going down a Google rabbit hole and it’s nice to see a positive story. So amazing to hear your son is doing well. It sounds like he’s come on leaps and bounds in the past 10 months so it really does give me some hope!!

I think the lack of babbling is what’s worrying me the most as she started this at 8 months and it disappeared (apart from the occasional baba, mama every few days) about 1.5 months ago. I guess only time will tell whether we see improvements. Thanks again for your swift response :)