To hate breastfeeding second time around

[SassyPants87]

DS is 6 weeks old and I don’t find breast feeding hard (I breastfed DD for 6 months) but the mental load this time round is something else! I’m finding it really difficult it all being on me, I don’t get to see DD in the mornings anymore before she goes to nursery. I try and do her dinner when she’s back and then dad takes her off for bath and bed whilst I’m BF DS. DS wakes sooooo often in the night! I know he’s only 6 weeks but I can’t help but compare to my DD who was sleeping through at 6 weeks!

I really don’t enjoy expressing either and would rather give formula which I am tempted to do but I do want to persevere.

Has anyone else found it harder second time round? Does it get easier? Did you find a balance?

You don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to.

Slightly different but I didn’t even attempt to the third time around despite enjoying breast feeding my second until 6 months. I didn’t want to, the midwives were a bit surprised but I was firm with my descision.

It took me a little while to find a balance. I really missed DC1 in the first few weeks of DC2s life because even though I was there I was soooooo needed by the baby.
I tried to make as much time as possible to play with DC1 when DH was home to hold the little one but it didn’t feel like enough.
Now DC2 is 4 months and we’re in a much better routine / he doesn’t need to be fed so often or for so long so I have a lot more time with DC1. Trying to remember when it started to improve, probably between 2 and 3 months (we’re still ebf).

I do think up to 6 weeks is the hardest bit, you poor thing, hang on in there!

It’s totally up to you to do whatever makes best sense for you all!

BUT, I would say that it did become so much easier for me. It also really depends on your circumstances. If you’re at home or live somewhere without big travel times, then you might always be within easy access of making a bottle or changing a nappy.

Because I was in London and liked to get out and about with toddler and baby (staying at home made me feel miserable), it was handy for me to be able to breastfeed discreetly if say stuck on a bus (no one wants the screaming baby on a busy bus in gridlocked traffic) plus ultimately less poo-y nappies to deal with.

But I really hear you with the sleepless nights, it’s so so so painful. The only way I survived was by going to sleep with them at 8pm to try and bank a bit of sleep somehow.

I feel for you as it’s a hard slog. I think you were quite lucky to have a DD sleep through the night at 6 weeks though! Mine were both about 6 months.
Just keep going for as long as you can, and see every day BF as a bonus for him. You can maybe start to introduce 1 or 2 formula feeds to make things more convenient and tolerable for you. Good luck and keep going!

I found it really hard to balance time with new baby and toddler. I missed my toddler a lot and felt like I'd abandoned her.
You can just stop breastfeeding if you want.
But it got easier for me around 6m when baby fed quickly and toddler was used to new status quo.