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Potty training gone to shit, help!

5 replies

superorganisms · 03/12/2022 18:37

My 2.5 yo potty trained back in June. We did the 3 day bootcamp thing as she was showing lots of readiness signs. She mostly got the hang of it - a few accidents here and there in the weeks after but had mostly accident free days during the summer.

I've just had another baby and it's all gone wrong. I know it's likely a reaction to her new reality but honestly I'm at a loss now on how we should respond to this. Initially we tried prompting her to use the loo, telling her to listen to her body, and made very little fuss when it happened and say, "pee goes in the toilet not on the floor, I know you'll do better next time." But it keeps happening. She 100% knows when she needs a wee and how to wee on the toilet. But something else isn't connecting.

I wondered if we'd put too much pressure on her or she somehow sensed that we were too invested in her success (she's very bright, highly sensitive, very strong willed and independent). So we tried completely backing off, not mentioning it, only saying "let's clean you up". But it's not working either.

I really never thought we'd go back to nappies but maybe we need to give her the option? Or would that be taking several huge steps back?

Any advice gratefully received, thanks

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Beanbagtrap · 03/12/2022 18:39

New baby she's probably craving attention so I would do lots of lavish praise for anything that isn't toilet related.

I'd also just take her to the loo regularly, rather than prompt/remind/ask.

I'd also be tempted not to say anything when she has an accident so she gets no pay off in terms of attention.

Pictograph · 03/12/2022 18:41

OP this is a normal reaction to a big change in her life. My DD did it when she started pre-school - she had been completely dry for about 10 months and she suddenly started having lots of accidents!

I wouldn't put her back in nappies. I'd keep doing as you are doing "oh dear, let's clean that up shall we" until the phase passes. It was about 2 weeks for my DD.

superorganisms · 03/12/2022 18:56

Thanks for your replies. It's been at least 5 weeks of this now, I hoped it would resolve on its own sooner... maybe I'm being impatient.

I wish I could just take her to the loo... She's honestly (sadly for us) not that kind of child. She would start kicking and screaming if we made her go to the toilet when it wasn't her choice. It makes it really hard to establish avy kind of routine or rules around toileting (we tried a, "we always sit on the toilet when we wake up" thing for a while, it just became a huge battleground and ended up getting each day off to a really bad start).

I guess we'll keep doing the non-reaction thing and try to accept we'll be cleaning up wee for a while!

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jamira · 03/12/2022 19:11

I would be a bit stern if she knows what to do. Make it clear you're not happy with wee / poo in pants. Take her to the toilet regularly in the meantime.

Topjoe19 · 03/12/2022 20:27

I agree with @Beanbagtrap post, also you could try a reward system if you think she'd respond to that. Do a lucky dip of very cheap little toys/buttons/sticker something like that, keep them in the bathroom for when she goes? Try all you can not to go back to nappies, she's shown she's capable so hang on in there

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