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Original poster

Overnight contact

8 replies

mama2021x · 02/12/2022 23:36

My baby’s dad wants him overnight and I’m not comfortable with that. Am I able to stop him?

He hasn’t seen him since he was 6 weeks old and bubba is now 6 months old. He works abroad and barely video calls.

he doesn’t know him and I’m not comfortable with an overnight stay. Can I stop this from happening?

OP posts:
Thuryg · 03/12/2022 02:07

@mama2021x following as similar situation. It’s horrible. What made your ex come out of the woodwork and ask for this? Xx

Ellessdee · 03/12/2022 02:38

Yes, just say no. He hasn't seen him for a long time. Baby needs to get to know him. Little and often if possible. Whenever he's home he should be spending time with baby. Half a day for example if you're willing to supervise. If you're not happy to supervise, he can take baby out for a couple of hours. If he disagrees, he can take you to court and they absolutely would not order overnight contact for such a young child.

Original poster
mama2021x · 03/12/2022 07:00

He feels it is his right to have him overnight at Christmas when he’s home visiting

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Campervangirl · 03/12/2022 07:21

He has no rights.
Start communicating via email so you have a paper trail.
Reply to his request along the lines of:
"Re your request to have db overnight.
Unfortunately, at this time db is too young to be away from me overnight as I am his primary caregiver.
Added to this as db doesn't know who you are it would cause unnecessary anguish to db to be handed them over to you who is in essence a complete stranger to him/her.
This would not be in the best interest of dB.
I would, however, be happy to facilitate regular supervised access to allow a relationship to grow between you.
We can work this out between us or if you prefer we could go down the legal route.
Let me know how you would like to proceed"
Or something along those lines, don't be bullied into handing over your dbaby.
No court would allow him to just have your db overnight when he has no relationship especially when dB is so young.
Good luck op

Theunamedcat · 03/12/2022 07:23

Is he on the birth certificate?

liveforsummer · 03/12/2022 07:28

Campervangirl · 03/12/2022 07:21

He has no rights.
Start communicating via email so you have a paper trail.
Reply to his request along the lines of:
"Re your request to have db overnight.
Unfortunately, at this time db is too young to be away from me overnight as I am his primary caregiver.
Added to this as db doesn't know who you are it would cause unnecessary anguish to db to be handed them over to you who is in essence a complete stranger to him/her.
This would not be in the best interest of dB.
I would, however, be happy to facilitate regular supervised access to allow a relationship to grow between you.
We can work this out between us or if you prefer we could go down the legal route.
Let me know how you would like to proceed"
Or something along those lines, don't be bullied into handing over your dbaby.
No court would allow him to just have your db overnight when he has no relationship especially when dB is so young.
Good luck op

That's really not true unfortunately. He has equal rights provided he's on the birth certificate. If he decided to take/keep him then you'd need to go to court to resolve as police would see he's with his dad and do nothing. On the other had a court won't just hand a small baby over to a parent they don't know initially. Safest thing to do is deny access and let him go to court if you have any concern that he might just decide to keep him over night etc or agree to supervised contact only while he's making unreasonable requests. Agree that everything should be in written form by email and keep that factual and calm and about the bays best interests.

Theunamedcat · 03/12/2022 07:40

Personally I would take it to court myself get a graduated contact schedule a lives with order (if they still exist?) Either way have it in writing who the child lives with ultimately its for the child's benefit having a relationship with their father but you can't just send your kid to a "strangers" house "cos it's Christmas" (yes it's his dad but he is still effectively a stranger)

Original poster
mama2021x · 03/12/2022 10:35

Thank you this makes me feel so much better!

he works away and will only see him for the few days he is here.

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