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Parenting

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Original poster

How do I get my partner back?

8 replies

August21yellowbaby · 02/12/2022 08:33

We’ve been arguing for a few months now about things that have been going on in our life
hes done alot of wrong to me but I have always forgiven it, I love him with all my heart

hes telling me he doesn’t want to break up but he wants to live on his own. We’ve been together 7 years, and have a 1 year old son. I feel likes a massive step back and feel like it’s just a way of breaking up without facing it yet

I’ve told him I will cut my hours down at work and be home more, promised to not mention topics that cause arguments

it just doesn’t seem enough
I’m now ignoring him and told him that it’s fine if he wants to move out but that would be the end of the relationship for me. You don’t get to walk in and out of your family when you feel like it. Your in or your out

any tips on how to deal with this? I suffer with massive anxiety and haven’t eaten for a week. I’m only just surviving by taking diazepam

OP posts:

Readaboutyourself · 02/12/2022 08:34

Accept that this relationship hasn’t worked and move forward without him.

Outfor150 · 02/12/2022 08:38

Leave him. Don’t let him muck you around. Don’t go part time at work -unless you want to and can afford it. I get that it’s stressful.

liarliarshortsonfire · 02/12/2022 08:44

And what is he going to do to repair the relationship op?

It takes two to make a relationship work, you can't 'fix' it in your own. He clearly doesn't want to fix it.

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RampantIvy · 02/12/2022 08:45

Please don't play the "pick me" game. He has no respect for you. If you try and change yourself to please him he will respect you even less.

I'm sorry he has treated you so badly, but it sounds like you need to move on and end the "relationship". I know it isn't waht you want to hear, but once you have got used to the idea that he isn't your partner it will be easier to move on.

Allow yourself time to grieve over the lost relationship. After all it can feel similar to a bereavement.

WeeOrcadian · 02/12/2022 08:48

Your post screams that you're desperate to 'win him back' and are willing to do things like ''not mention topics that upset him". That isn't a way to live.

You should be with someone who wants to be with you.

What exactly will HE be doing to fix things? Oh, nothing? There's your answer.

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/12/2022 08:52

You are not married and to be honest, I doubt you will ever be married to this man. If you cut your hours, you will put yourself in financial difficulties while he has the freedom to work and keep his own money. Please don't do that.

bubsno2 · 02/12/2022 09:10

I'm so so sorry this sounds so upsetting

You're worth so Much more

You're right though if someone wants to leave the house but not break up that's not entirely what he wants. I think you know that though.

My partner is the most supportive partner
Not saying that to rub it in. But I've had what you've described and it's awful. I went on to meet someone incredible. Baby was 23 months and now she's 11 yrs and we have our own baby

Think about your needs and raise your bar

Merryclaire · 02/12/2022 09:18

It doesn’t sound good OP - it’s like ‘break up lite’.

Just so you feel you have done everything you can, try to get him into counselling with you. If he’s not willing then there really is no hope. If he is you can try to work through your problems, and if things don’t improve then it will help you come to terms with things ending.

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