Overly Anxious Mum?

[PrplePanda]

I am a new mum and have been feeling anxious around my parents.

During my pregnancy, my parents got very excited which is great but did things that I felt overstepped. They have bought him a Changing mat for their house and talk as if they expect to look after the baby all the time. It has made me feel like they are wanting to be overly involved.

When visiting them, I have felt anxious about handing the baby over to them. They will hold their arms out and expect me to hand him over rather than asking or waiting until I am comfortable.

Am I being an overly anxious new mum? Would appreciate opinions as I don't want this to ruin relationships with my family!

You don’t say what kind of relationship you have with your parents. Are you close? Are are there issues that make you feel like you don’t want them involved?

Reasonably most grandparents would expect to be able to hold and engage with the baby in the mother’s presence a fair bit when baby is younger. Of course they should hand baby back when they get upset, respect feeding and naps, and not overstay their welcome. Ideally they could help you out a bit with doing some basic chores or bringing you food.

When old enough, they will likely want to spend some quality time with their grandchild when you’re busy doing something else - perhaps babysitting or taking them on a few outings. However, I think this should be only when mum and baby are both ready to be away from each other.

It should always be what you are comfortable with - it is not a second opportunity for them to have a baby - but as long as you have no concerns about your parents I would try to facilitate a good relationship between them.

You don’t want to hand over baby much at the moment because they are so tiny and it’s all so new, but that will change. You will want a break. In the meantime, let them hold baby for a little bit then say they need a feed/nap and have them back.

Sorry not sure I get it. A close relationship with safe, loving grandparents is a wonderful thing and even if you’re not ready yet, willing babysitters is not something I’d be so quick to turn my nose up at. Unless you have a difficult relationship with your parents, don’t trust them with baby, or there’s something else you’re not saying then I really don’t see the issue.

Unless there's a dripfeed coming about how unreasonable and unreliable your parents are I think you're being overly anxious. Why wouldn't you want them to hold your baby?!

This!
Unless there's a history here, a normal grandparent/ family member holding a new baby is totally normal and it's lovely they are invested and happy.