I wasn't sure if this should go in mental health or parenting....
This thread could be potentially triggering for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child so I highly recommend not reading if reading that kind of thing would upset you.
Been coming off of antidepressants gradually for the last couple of months and so far everything has been great (I'm on the last few rounds of pills! Will be done in a week! Great!) until recently I started having horrible nightmares about my little one dying in the most graphic ways. I've been postpartum for almost 2 years now. I feel like things should have resolved by now and I don't really want to go back on the meds because of side effects.
I'm not really looking for medical advice or anything just words of encouragement I guess.
Last night was the hardest. My mother got her a beautiful custom crib set with her name on it and the most adorable fox. And then I had a dream she hung she hung herself from that gorgeous blanket over the edge of the crib and I woke up sobbing and too afraid to check on her because I couldn't stand the thought of seeing her like that even though I knew that it was just a dream and it didn't actually happen it felt too real to me.
My husband had to go get her and show me she was alive and well and that it was just a horrible dream.
I don't know what is wrong with me or why my mind is torturing me with these terrible scenarios... It seems like PMS is extremely difficult each time I go down a dose and I recently got my cycle so I imagine hormones are definitely at play here but I still struggle with the awful nightmares. Please tell me there is an end in sight to this hell.