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Parenting

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Family issues

4 replies

chocsaucestrawb · 30/11/2022 08:42

Please help - lost as what the next steps are

Ever since baby has been born ( mil first grandchild) she's been horrid.
Hasn't supported us, selfish, everything is aimed around the baby. Has completely ignored our needs

What we've done

*Tried to ignore it - thinking it was just a phase but it wasn't
*so DH spoke to her and told her exactly how we feel. She cried/broke down and it didn't go in so we drew a line for our sanity

When she comes over to visit baby I do not enjoy her company
She has told me she is now on anti depressants, can't sleep and 'misses' the baby
It annoys me more than I can have empathy for her and I hate how it makes me feel as usually I'm a compassionate person but my mum family and friends haven't put this on me

Ive had trouble recovering from a traumatic birth, hard recovery, unsettled baby and im tired. She used to turn up and attend my midwife appointments so we had to say please text first. She didn't like this and doesn't feel she has to as she's family. She does now but I don't think she's happy about it

Lately she's now crying saying she can't believe we aren't coming Xmas. We don't want to. We want a Xmas in our home without having to pack and drive and we have an older child. She doesn't have any respect or boundaries in my opinion

As much as family is important she is making me miserable
I never thought she would be like this
Having our baby has changed her
We used to be close and I enjoyed her company

Honestly don't know what to do....it's getting me down

Any suggestions welcome

X

OP posts:
TalkToTheHand123 · 30/11/2022 11:24

How far away does she live? Maybe meet up for coffees half way to smooth things over and have an escape route?

upfucked · 30/11/2022 12:06

Have you posted about her before? Not that a bad thing just I remember some of this. There is a good book about toxic parents in laws.

Was she always like this or is it new? My PIL went a bit crazy at various points, eg our wedding and when DC was morning, then the first mother’s day.

chocsaucestrawb · 30/11/2022 22:18

5mins drive and yes unfortunately
Situation hasn't got any better x

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TalkToTheHand123 · 01/12/2022 12:32

If it's just a 5 min drive then you could visit her before Xmas to start smoothing things over and so you can leave anytime. Maybe set from the start how long you are staying, use / have an excuse to leave if she gets too much?

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