8 month old sleep

[StarlessSea123]

My DD is 8 months old and the past couple of weeks her sleep has taken a downhill turn, to the point where she’ll no longer sleep in her cot and will only cosleep with me.
Issues: can’t go to sleep independently, never has. She needs to either fall asleep in my arms, or lying on top of our bed with me after which I transfer her to the cot. Bedtime is around 8pm.
She will then sleep until 11 or 12 if we’re lucky, after which she’ll be wide awake - only way to get her back to sleep is into my bed. This first wake is short if I move her into bed with me.
We then will have another wakeful period from 2-4 where she won’t sleep no matter what I do. Not crying or unsettled, just happy and alert and ready to play. It’s so frustrating :( if I try to ignore she cries, eventually hysterically.
Our routine is up every morning before half 7, one long nap of 2 hours late morning, and a shorter 30 min nap around 4pm. She’s very low sleep needs and always has had longer than average wake windows, I can’t get her to nap any sooner or more often. I can’t get bedtime any earlier either.
Any tips/advice for gentle sleep training methods? And would sleep training even help with the wakeful split nights? She’s formula fed I should add, on 3 solids meals per day. She dropped her night feed a few weeks ago but I confess I do sometimes make a bottle in an attempt to settle her during the night. Sorry for the long post, just wanted to include relevant info.

Will she take the bottle in the night of you offer it @StarlessSea123?

She does take some but not all. Sometimes it does work to get her back to sleep if she’s been awake long enough. If I offer it as soon as she wakes, she’ll drink a small amount then smile at me. Which is cute but also annoying lol 🙈

I can imagine that it is annoying. Have you tried things like sleeping with her needing for a couple of nights so that her cot smells like your bed?

My DD liked it warm, warmer than they recommend so we put s fleece blanket under the bottom sheet and bought some long sleeved vests. She also slept better if she had socks. She still does sleep in socks now

It’s actually funny you should say that as I’ve been wondering this too. I have a fleece blanket tucked under the sheet and she’s in a 2.5 tog sleeping bag as well as her vest and sleepsuit. Might try adding socks though in case that does help.
It’s never funny at the time but she usually will wake during the night with a stretch and a “ahhh” as if she’s had the best sleep and feels refreshed, so we can get up now 😂 I laugh about it now but won’t be laughing in 6 hours time! She’s such an alert baby, it’s great during the day as she’s easily entertained but it’s making her harder to get to sleep for sure. My Mum says I was exactly like this too so maybe it’s payback!

Good idea too btw about sleeping with her bedding, can certainly try that too!

My daughter is almost 9 months and exactly the same! The whole wanting to play at 3am is NOT FUNNY! I think she’s chronically overtired (she thinks she doesn’t need sleep but she does!) and she doesn’t always nap well in the day. I don’t know how to break the cycle though…

I wrote a similar thread a few weeks ago. I had moved her cot away from my bed & thought the cause was darker nights and she couldn’t see / sense me if she woke up. Moving it back helped for 2 nights now we’re having the same issues you mentioned. I think DD is teething. Does your LO have any through yet?
mines rarely falls asleep alone & has cut her second nap so only one late morning nap.
3-6 wakenings a night. I’m exhausted and I’m guessing you are too🥲

@Fleur405 it’s hard isn’t it? Hard too when it seems like other Mums at baby groups etc have these unicorn babies who sleep 7-7 at night and have done since 3 months. Makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong..

@Bossa09 She does have a couple of teeth and I think the teething for now has settled again as she doesn’t have any of the symptoms of that which she did a couple of months ago when she was cutting the first two. You have my sympathies, it’s exhausting for sure. At least I feel less alone now.

Hard too when it seems like other Mums at baby groups etc have these unicorn babies who sleep 7-7 at night and have done since 3 months. Makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong..

I don't doubt that some babies do sleep through but there have been studies to prove that around half of parents lie about how much sleep their babies get, so I'd take most of that kind of talk with a pinch of salt.

If you're struggling with naps and you want gentle methods, have you tried reading the No Cry Nap Solutuon? Fir is cracking the naps helped massively with the nights.

@PritiPatelsMaker I agree maybe a lot of them embellish it a bit! I haven’t read that book but will check it out. Other books I’ve looked at have very rigid schedules which I have tried to implement before but it’s hard when you want to get out and about enjoying maternity leave and enjoying DD whilst she’s still so small and DD often goes against the schedule anyway by doing her own thing lol

The things I found with some the ones that enforced a strict schedule are:

The author usually hasn't had a baby.

They often aren't evidence based.

And the baby has read the book!

@PritiPatelsMaker Haha so true! I don’t know how you can make someone nap for a certain length of time if they don’t want to, or eat at a certain time if they aren’t hungry enough yet

If she has very low sleep needs, are you actually expecting her to sleep too much? 8pm to 7.30am is 11.5 hours (if she actually slept for all of it), then 2.5 hours napping, so that's 14 hours total. I think that's about average for the age, so might be too much for your DD.

DD2 is a couple weeks older than your wee one, low sleep needs, and she sleeps roughly 8pm to 6am and probably averages nearer two hours napping. We've still had the occasional 3am party, but there's no way I could get her to do 11-12 hours overnight – there would be an awkward wide awake spell somewhere. Fortunately DD1 was very similar, so we gave up on the mythical 7-7 long ago.

(Hi @PritiPatelsMaker, we seem to be on lots of the same threads at the moment!)

Hi @PritiPatelsMaker, we seem to be on lots of the same threads at the moment!). We do, don't we

@skkyelark You could be right. Yesterday she had her usual 2.5 hours naps, but as she wouldn’t settle to sleep until about 9:30pm, she slept through solidly until 6 (albeit in my bed with me, but it’s a start?) I just think 9:30 seems so late but maybe it’s the bedtime she needs for now.