Am I a bad mum

[youmea3]

i Have an 11 month old

ive barely had a minute to breathe at the moment he’s had bugs from nursery, my job is so busy and trying to just do basic life (chores and socialising) I feel overwhelmed

im the default parent by far. To an extreme sometimes I’d say. DS settles for me easier all the time so most (90%) of bedtimes and wakings are down to me
amongst everything else I pretty much always do

tonight I’ve been a bit impatient. I just want a bath
ive had a shit start to the week I want 30 mins alonr

DS waking frequently and anytime I put him in cot kicking me screaming

i did say “please sleep mummy needs a minute to herself” and stuff like that which I shouldn’t have he doesn’t get it he doesn’t mean it but im Just so stressed and would like a second to bretHe I feel so iverhwmeled

the. DH Has a go at me and says how awful I’m being etc and I feel shit now and I’m still trying to get DS to sleep and his eyes are a little open so I don’t. Want to cry

No your not shit but you have a bit of a shity husband....:.clearly he should have helped you if your feeling short/stressed instead of leaving you to crack on with it.
your human your allowed to have feelings and say got to sleep to your child...:.:not as tho you were shaking him or being nasty

Why isn't your husband helping?

You're not a bad mum. However, the dad is a crap one if he's not helping!!!

You're not a bad mum, not at all. You're a human being who has a LOT on their plate. I've begged my baby to sleep, or stop crying etc too even though I know they can't understand me. It gets overwhelming sometimes and it's a way to try and cope. You're a good mum and you need a break. I wish that as mums we would talk to each other more, we've all had these moments and I for one would be glad to look after a friend's child for an hour to give her a bit of a break if she was having a hard time. You're not alone and you're doing your best x

It’s not helping to parent your own child FFS. He needs to step up.

If husband can't have him for 30 minutes while you have a well deserved bath there's no hope.

Definitely not! We've all been here

"im the default parent by far. To an extreme sometimes I’d say."

Expand please. Is the man somehow getting some wonderful deal that you are missing out on?

I think it sounds like your DH is a crap parent and partner. for you.

Not at all, your a great mum who's tired and needs a little time. Your DH on the other hand should be pulling his finger out instead of making you feel bad!

The reason he settles easier for you is because your ‘d’h never does it. The more he does it the better he will get.

Everyone, no matter who you are needs a break, whether thats 30 mins in a bath, or a walk around some shops to do some window shopping, everyone is different. You are by no ways a rubbish parent for needing a break. DH should be mindful of that, being a parent is matter of teamwork, and he should be supporting you, sorry to hear you that things are difficult for you.

Christ 'please sleep I need a minute alone' is very tame, nothing to feel guilty about - I read the 'go the fuck to sleep' story (google it - Samuel L Jackson) Many many times when both Ds's were small.

There’s only one shit I can think of in this scenario and it’s the babies so called father!!!

You sound completely normal and not a bad mum at all! It's utterly overwhelming doing it all on your own. Your partner needs to give you a break so you can de-stress - even if it's 20 minutes to run screaming round the block.

The only shit one here is your husband.

Its SO hard when you go back to work - I was so stressed because there was so much to juggle and my god, the constant sick bugs.

Your husband needs to step the fuck up and parent his child.