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Parenting

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Terrible two support!

3 replies

peanutbutterontoast7 · 28/11/2022 19:51

So I am just having a really hard time with my two-year-old.
I just wanna start by saying that we have a very special and close bond. I love everything about him, and I know aside from his behaviour at the moment he's such a lovely boy.
That being said his behaviour at the minute is so difficult. I am really struggling. He is just so defiant about everything. I feel like I have to force/pin him down for everything. This includes pushing his teeth, giving him his medicine, getting him dressed, putting his nappy on. Everything is difficult. He's also a hitter. He started hitting probably around 12/18 months ago. The phases come and go, although don't really go entirely. But at the moment he just hits all the time. He hits all the children when he's unhappy about something. I've got to the point where I know all the parents won't want us to go with them because of the hitting , and I'm also too worried about putting us both in the situation.
He does have his speech and communication delay. He is on the waiting list for a speech therapist. That being said I have noticed a big difference in his understanding recently so I'm really hoping that his speech will come on the way.
I guess I just need to hear other people say they've been in this boat and it gets better. I do have an older son and I remember he was particularly difficult as well at this age but I don't remember him being quite as defiant and he didn't do any form of hitting.
I just feel like everybody around me
doesn't understand because they've never been to this. Every time I pick him up from nursery they have something negative to say. I picked him up today and they told me that he'd had a terrible day, he'd been hitting everyone, and he just isn't compassionate or caring about others feelings.
Just feeling really rubbish :(

Any suggestions about the hitting in particular would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Notyetamother · 28/11/2022 22:34

Hi,
I'm not a mum yet (ttc) but saw that you had no comments and I have looked after my younger brother and nephews etc a lot so felt I could offer a little comfort!
Someone said in a video I watched the other day that everything with children is just a phase and nothing is EVER permanent and to bare that in mind.
I can't imagine how stressful it must be to deal with but you seem like a caring lady and the fact that you care about his bad behaviour to me says you're a great mum!
Keep going! He will grow out of it, 100%. Probably not the advice you were looking for, but a reply none the less.
Take care xx

User0ne · 28/11/2022 23:01

With the hitting I think you need to really focus on the cues. So, when does he hit? What is happening in the run up? Once you know this you can intervene before he hits.

I'd be quite cross with nursery saying he has no empathy. If he has s&l delay he probably doesn't understand half of what they're saying to him and it's not developmentally normal for a 2yo to have a strong sense of empathy.

At home you could try turning things into a game to prevent defiance. Example, my now 4yo hated having his teeth brushed so we talked a lot about "sugar bunnies" (that burrow into your teeth) and how the toothbrush wanted to gobble them. The toothbrush would beg my toddler to open his mouth so he (the toothbrush) could eat those tasty sugar bunnies. My toddler thought it was hilarious and most of the time it worked. Sometimes he still asks for the talking toothbrush 🙄😂

Essentially anything you can do to take the conflict out of what you're asking is a strategy to try.

peanutbutterontoast7 · 29/11/2022 01:09

Aww thank you both for the replies, it means a lot ♥️

I totally agree that I need to change my approach abit and try and make things more fun. I know fee down that once the understanding comes it will get a bit easier as it did with my eldest who had a soeach delay.
I just feel like at the minute absolutely everything is a problem, which it is. I can't even leave the room without there being a massive meltdown 😢
I just want my happy boy back and for everyone to see what an amazing little guy he is instead of the Tasmania devil he appears to be right now :(

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