20 month age gap

[lovechickencrisps]

Please can I have your experience of raising children with a 20 month age gap?

Surprise pregnancy.. luckily we still have lots of baby things but I'm thinking we're gonna need a double pushchair and possibly a 2nd highchair.

What else am I going to need or be able to reuse?

Are we in for a lifetime of sibling rivalry as they're quite close in age?

We do have older children but there's 3 years between them and they've never really fought each other as they are so different in personality and have totally different interests.

It feels so soon to be having another baby but very exciting.

Ah congrats!

21 months between my two (though we're still very much in the baby & toddler stage so not sure how it'll go as they grow up.

So far we've pretty much used everything the same and bought new bottles and a double buggy. Will need to buy a second car seat soon once the baby one has been outgrown. We've Even reused some clothes though the baby is a girl while toddler is a boy so had to buy some things.

Good luck! It's absolutely bloody madness most of the time but it's also amazing watching their relationship grow. He's the only one that can make her laugh and calm her down when she cries and he's just loves her so much already. Almost 8 months in and I wouldn't change the age gap for anything (except maybe some sleep?😂)

many thanks for your reply @windyerneckin13

I hadn't thought about car seats. Our 13 month old is still in her baby seat that attaches to the pram!

I bet it's wonderful watching their relationship grow. I'm having moments of horror thinking about having a toddler and baby together and moments of joy. Not quite sure how I'll manage with c section recovery either with a toddler running around. I take my hat off to women that do it!

My 30 month gap dc are now dd17 and ds nearly 19...always had a fab relationship.. I did have a double pram and ds had a booster seat at the table when dd was in the highchair...

The section recovery + toddler was the hardest bit I think. He was too young obviously to understand why I couldn't pick him up etc., it was so sad (though tbf it was probably worse for
Me than him with all the post birth hormones. But he eventually just got it that he had to sit with me on the sofa or go to dad to get picked up. He played up a fair bit at the start but he came around after a couple of weeks once he realised that I had plenty of time and hands to have them both and I was able to spend a bit of 1 on 1 time with him when I'd healed a bit
More. He's been full of hugs & kisses for the baby since the day we brought her home from hospital.

I still have horror days where I think "what have I done" but then I see them together; it's the most magical kind of chaos. 100% some days you'll question your sanity but I think that's just life with a toddler anyway isn't it?

I have a very similar age gap. Yes to double buggy (we walked a lot and it wasn't practical to dawdle at toddler pace all the time). Get one with a single handle as they're easier to push when holding a toddler's hand when they want to walk a bit.

No need for 2 highchairs. Baby 1 could sit nicely on a chair by 2 and baby 2 didn't need it until 6 months.

One cot was fine. Baby one moved to a toddler bed by 17 months so we had a few months with the cot empty before baby 2 arrived. I always used the big cot from day 1 with my babies during the day (not necessarily to sleep in but as a safe place to pop them when I needed a wee / shower).

Good luck

This is the exactly the age gap between my Dad's! They're still young (3.5 months and just turned two) but so far so good. The first week or so was a bit rocky. DD1 loves her little sister and is always giving her cuddles, "reminding us" to bring her downstairs, giving her toys and feeding her imaginary food.

There have been some drawbacks. I'm breastfeeding so I spent a lot of the first three months or so just sat on the sofa unable to play with DD1. As such she suddenly flipped from being a mummy's girl to a daddy's girl and wants him for most things. That said, now that DD2 is going longer between feeds I've been able to play with DD1 more and she's accepted me back and become really affectionate again. There are also hints of jealousy. If we give DD2 a toy that DD1 wasn't so much as looking at DD1 will suddenly decide she wants it and start a chorus of "mine, mine", and we have to explain that DD2 is playing with it right now but she can have it later. Also, if one of us is holding DD2 and DD1 wants to play, she'll go and pat DD2's bouncy chair saying "chair, DD2 sit". Which is also kinda adorable.

On the whole though it's been fine, much easier than expected, though it probably helps that they're both pretty easy kids.

In practical terms we've been able to reuse just about everything. Don't think we've bought anything for DD2 apart from a few clothes bits 🤔 I do think a double buggy would be useful but we're managing fine without.

Don't go into it with any fear, OP, and congratulations!

Lol__, between my DDs, not my dads 😂

There will be 23 months between DS and DC2. The only thing we’re purchasing is a better sling and a single bed. DS is 16mo and is out of his infant car seat. He’s also not far from sitting on a car rather than needing a high chair (DS2 won’t need it for 6 months). I know a few people with the same age gap and none recommended a double buggy but a buggy board instead. I can’t imagine it but I know DS will be so much bigger by the time his sibling comes along.

My 2 boys are 22 months apart. They're now 14 and 12...I don't remember much about the 12 yr old being a baby (!) but yes there was a time when we had a double buggy, 2 car seats, possibly 2 high chairs, 2 lots of nappies!! By necessity c section recovery seemed easier second time around.

But past the baby stage - it's been brilliant. They're 2 years apart in school which is a good separation, but they've mostly been able to do the same holiday clubs etc. they share friends and interests and we've generally treated them the same (bedtimes etc). They seem like good friends, play sport together, computer games etc and do look out for each other. I do think it helps they're both boys though...

19 month age gap and it’s lovely so far! DDs are 3.5 and nearly 2 and they love playing together- DD1 is a very proud big sis and loves teaching DD2 things. From a parenting perspective it worked well as it was straight into the second without time to get used to being out of the baby stage, which I found emotionally easier!

Ps we did get a double buggy and used a lot until DD1 nearly 3 and stopped napping.