14wk old bedtime routine

[Leolady11]

Advice on how to get my LO into a bedtime routine please, or if a routine is even needed at this age?! I'm a FTM, she is 14wks old and a pretty good sleeper, however, the dreaded regression is clearly creeping up as she has become a lot more unsettled and waking more frequently over the past week. Currently, we have no real routine, she falls asleep downstairs with us about 9pm after a nappy change and feed (we do bathtime in the morning as she finds it exciting rather than relaxing), and we take her up with us when we're ready to go to bed. We're a laid-back couple where routines are concerned and actually quite happy with this arrangement for now but obviously, want to do what's best for the baby. I feel guilty having her downstairs all evening (even though she's sleeping, I worry its not 'true' sleep because we have the lamp on and background noise of the TV, volume is low) and don't want to cause her any issues with sleep later down the line. I hear lots of other mums saying their babies are bathed and tucked up by 7/8pm but my main issue with this is that I won't leave her to sleep in the bedroom alone at this stage so if I adopted that routine I'd have to go to bed at 7pm too. If that's the only option and what we're currently doing is detrimental to her in any way then I'll absolutely go up early with her. Just wondering what everyone else does? Am I missing something? I have no clue! Thanks in advance.

I wouldn't bother, and just do whatever suits you best. She doesn't really need a proper routine until much older.

With DC 1&2 I wasted so much time and made myself miserable over following routines. I'm just going with the flow with DC3 and I'm much happier. I think some babies sleep, some don't and at this age there's nothing you can really do. DC3 is much better than his siblings so far!

Enjoy that you can have nice evenings with her for now!

Also, don't feel you need to bathe every day unless you want to. She would be fine with once a week unless she's actually really dirty!

Thank you, that's good to know! I'm pretty happy with how things are at the moment and her sleep pattern is good (for now!). I just worry I'm doing something wrong, feels like I'm being a bad mum having my young baby downstairs with me until late - FTM anxiety I suppose.

Your not doing anything wrong. Having a baby a hard especially as a first time mum so do what works well for you. With mine when he got to an older age where noise and light started to bother him at night i would put him in his room and have a monitor on. But then again i dont have stairs so it was easier to get to him when he woke up . So do what works best for you and baby at the moment

Thank you, it's so hard knowing what to do for the best. I think once she gets to 6 months or so I'll be more comfortable leaving her in the bedroom with the baby monitor so maybe the routine can wait until then.

My DS is nearly 5 months old. I try and stay up as late as possible each night to feed him so he sleeps through the night. There is no point getting baby into a routine until they are over 6 months and in their own room. Don't bother

Your routine is great! It's SIDS safe and will help her sleep through noise in future. Keep doing what suits you.

You are doing the right thing. Don't worry about light or noise interference at this age. Many babies get used to it too which isn't a problem if it works for you. I had a bed time routine with DS from an early age but sacked it at about 6 months as I got sick of reading the hungry Caterpillar. He is 11 months now and how he falls asleep just depends on the day. Sometimes downstairs with me and sometimes upstairs after a story and I go down afterwards. Some kids need consistency and some are flexible. Decide when he is older, for now enjoy the cuddles.

If the current situation is working for you there’s no need to change. I was doing similar to you but around the 3 month mark I started to find DD wouldn’t sleep with the TV and lights on as she became much more interested in everything around her (and easily overstimulated). We started putting her down in the Next to Me with the monitor rather than starting the night in the living room. Usually we put her to bed around 8pm and the spend an hour watching TV together before joining her. The risk of SIDS from the occasional hour sleeping alone should be extremely low but of course only do what you are personally happy with.

In a lot of cases routines are more to suit the parents than the baby so do what works for you but be prepared to change as your baby grows and develops- what works one week might not work the next. We certainly noticed a lot of change at around 3 months but every baby is different. We are now at 5 months and little sign of the sleep regression overnight although her day time naps have been a lot shorter during the last month.

Thanks all, really reassuring advice :)

I think I will continue to follow her cues and go with the flow until 6 months.

Just go with the flow if it’s working for you as a family. It does change so quickly and I kind of miss that stage, as hard as I found it at the time. At that age my DD would have been in the living room with us until we went to bed, usually between 10 and 11pm. She would have slept in her pram bassinet or contact napped we had no real routine in place then. She gradually started to bring her own bedtime forward from around 4/5 months and those evening naps merged into night sleep.

Thank you!