Killing kids dreams

[Randomthinker]

Was chatting with my football mad 11 year old and asking what he wants to do when he grows up. He thought about it and mentioned a couple of things he wanted to be, one of which was a footballer. Straight away my other half says oh you'll not be a footballer. I said that's a mean thing to say and he said in front of him well he needs to know now so he's not disappointed. He's 11 fgs, what's wrong with having dreams? He plays for a local team, goes to training regularly and it's something he really enjoys. Heck even if he said he wanted to be an astronaut I wouldn't put him off. I just think it's a horrible thing to do to dismiss it just like that. I know careers like that are extremely tough to get into but at that age I like to think you can imagine you have the whole world at your feet.

Unless your OH has got a crystal ball then he should pipe down. He's got no idea what your DS will be! Could be a footballer, could be an astronaut, it's all to play for.

If he is 11 at Primary School then absolutely DH should shut up. If he is 11 at Secondary School then I think he should be encouraged to have his dreams but also encouraged to maybe think of a back up plan as well.

It's one thing to say, it takes a lot of hard work, not everyone gets selected, there are other jobs relating to football, too, and another just to say you won't be. He could change his mind in a year or two, anyway.

I think at 11 they are old enough to know being a footballer is pretty unlikely, he’s not 5 anymore.
I assume unless you’re going to drip feed that he’s not signed up to any academy clubs so even less likely to end up a football (even those in academy’s is unlikely).

We approach this in my school nicely, each child has their dream job up and then we focus on specific attributes those careers may have and how exciting it is to aspire towards those attributes even if we don't end up in those careers "I know you would love to be a football player one day, to be a footballer you need to work really well in team situations and learn to share and help your friends which are all things we can start practicing now and actually things that will help us in whatever career we end up in"...

You can relate most careers back to anything really, sharing, working well with others, competitiveness, good communication, kindness, being a risk taker...etc and also to try and motivate them more in certain subjects.

We acknowledge that it's their dream job at the moment and that might change in the future but it's so wonderful to have a goal to work towards or a dream for yourself.

I would never ever tell a child thy young that they're wasting their time dreaming of being or doing something great.

Thank you, he's at secondary but only turned 11 in summer. It upset me because I think if someone was blunt with me like that when I was that age I think it would be something I'd remember. Plus my husband takes him to matches and training so I know his opinion means the world to him. Even if dreams might be unrealistic it's nice to have them.