How to encourage confidence and independence in 7 year old

[Aussiemum80]

Hi all, I’m a mum to a lovely 7 year old boy, he is an only child and dad works away for 9 months of the year.
the problem is he CLINGS to me at every opportunity. He seems to have very little confidence around other children and rarely instigates play with them. He follows me round the house all day whenever he’s home and won’t do anything by himself (even a wee), wants me to play with him all the time and it’s a struggle to get anything done without him needing me.
We went to a party at soft play yesterday and he spent the whole time sitting on my lap, refusing point blank to go off with other children who tried to engage with him.
The kids in his class are getting to the age where they are going off on play dates without their own parents. Absolutely no chance my boy would do this however lovely other mum is.
same at school, he will gravitate towards adult company rather than children.
hes always been a bit like this and I assumed he’d grow out of it, but at the age of 7 he really shouldn’t be.
I am certain it is my fault, he had issues at birth and I have been quite overprotective as a result of this, also with dad being away a lot it’s just me and him. We don’t have any relatives or friends with children of a similar age and I think he’s just become totally dependant on my company. He doesn’t have any additional needs.
How do I build his confidence and reduce the dependence on me, it’s exhausting for both of us and very unhealthy for him to shun the company of other children. Thanks

Does he have any extra curricular activities that he enjoys? My 7 year old only child loves Beavers (scouts) and it has really helped her with independence. The leaders at her group are incredible and very patient and encouraging with children who are reluctant to join in initially. For some time she preferred to stay with me if I was at a party or activity. It's only since she found some activities she loved (Beavers, swimming, drama club) that shes really become more independent. What does school say? Was it school that said he gravitated to adults?

Thanks @BeccaBean , yes the school told me he gravitates towards adults. They are trying to encourage small group activities and socialisation which is helping a little. They are actually being really good about it. That’s good to know about extra curricular… a lot of boys in his class are football mad which he hates, so this doesn’t help. But maybe finding something he does really like will help him make like minded friends.

I don't think you are at fault, some kids need us longer than they're peers.
Makes some gradual changes...
Give him some chores to do daily himself, praise him for doing them. A 7 year old should be able to wash up breakfast stuff, pair socks, hoover the living room, put away toys and so on. Let him use the toaster and pour his own cereal, Thee will build confidence.

Start Leaving the room when he's bathing or using the toilet, wait outside until he needs you, get further away each time. When you are playing with him make a point to leave the room but tell him you will be back in a minute and to stay there.

Swimming Lessons are a good activity, because he will be in the pool without you but still be able to see you from the viewing platform.

It will take time, but you should be able to build his confidence and develop secure attachment.

Agree with prior poster, as long as he is not unhappy, he will become more sociable when he is ready and gradual changes will help. They are still quite little at 7 (our DD still jumps into bed with us in the middle of the night almost every night!). For our DD, Beavers was a game-changer with socialising and independence probably because the leaders are so nurturing and there is a wide range of activities at the group. If you can find an activity he really wants to have a go at, you may find he starts enjoying spending time without you. Because our DD doesn't have siblings we have tried to make sure she is doing group activities with other kids quite regularly so that she gets plenty of chance to socialise with kids her own age. We don't have family with kids her age in the UK. We also try and do a play date now and again but as we both work it's not always that easy. We like having time with our DD as a family of three.