Newborn and a toddler

[shannonhinton0421]

I've recently found out in pregnant with baby number 2. We are super happy and excited, although I am overcome with anxiety of how I'm going to cope on my own when my partner goes back to work after mat leave.
My son will be 2 years and 4 months when new baby arrives, we will start nursery when he's 3 I believe.
My son is a very calm and laid back toddler, he has his moments like very toddler does, but he's happy to play on his own at the moment, I'm prepared for these things to change as they always do.

Im happy and excited about having baby number 2, but I can't help but feel guilty for not feeling the way I did when I found out I was pregnant the first time. Im scared if my mom eldest is going to feel left out, im scared of silly things like getting them out the car on my own. Will I need a double buggy and things like that?
Im sure all this is normal but all I've seen over tiktok and online is how terrible having 2 under 3 is. I know it's going to be very challenging. But if anyone has any tips to help me prepare, any advise, any positive stories! I'm all ears ❤️

If you can afford it I'd recommend putting your toddler into nursery ASAP for at least a couple of days a week, it will really make your life so much easier.

IME, the older child doesn't really end up getting much less attention, it's the baby that gets ignored! For me it was very important to have the toddler in nursery half the week so that the rest of the time I could actually bond with my baby. Otherwise she was just kinda left to get on with it herself, which felt really sad to me.

Ok thank you, it's something I will definitely consider, even for just a couple days a week if I can

My toddler is 18 months and my newborn is 2 weeks. Totally agree that they baby gets ignored more! Nursery is my saviour and my toddler loves the routine and attention/stimulation she gets there. She goes 2 days a week and my MIL has her another day which is lovely. I get a chance to bond with the baby and catch up around the house.
Seeing how much she adores her little brother is amazing and I'm looking forward to when they're older. It's hard (and I'm still worried about the future) but life with a toddler is hard anyway IMO!
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Dont have any personal experiences to share yet as i am currently 8 months pregnant and my first is 2.5 years old. He is going nursery 2 days a week which is what i am relying on. All your feelings and fears are very normal and felt the same for the longest time. However from speaking to others that have done it and a close friend of mine who had a smaller age gap there is light at the end of the tunnel and eventually everything will fall in place.

Mum of 4 here with 5 years between oldest and youngest so I’ve done newborn with toddler stage multiple times (and some combinations you may never experience!) 2 under 2, 3 under 3 etc. my only real life experience advice is that honestly once baby arrives 1) it’ll feel like they’ve always been there and 2) they have to slot into your current routine! Obviously take time to recover from birth and find your feet but, the sooner you get back into the routine if your toddler the better. Having a new sibling is unsettling enough but if you can maintain ‘routine’ as it was, it’s so much easier for them to handle the transition. As others have said nursery is a godsend, after 2 years the social interaction is so good for them but it also frees up time for you and baby which is also essential xx

That's the exact gap I had and if I remember one thing it's how easy a newborn suddenly looks to 'run' compared to a toddler! The bond the two of them had was amazing, DS1 got the first smiles the first giggles, everything.

I second the get DS1 into a nursery routine as soon as you can afford though, give you a break and not make him associate new siblings with nursery.

Wow! You're an angel! 4 under 5, supermom!! Thank you so much this has really made me feel so much better, it's much mixed emotions all the time. Thank you x

Thank you so so much this has really gave me some reassurance, I'm definitely going to look into nursery I think

Thank you so much, I'm definitely going to look into it x

My dd was 2yr 3m when 2 dd was born. Second baby fits in a lot more than first does. And when they start playing together it's lovely.

Congratulations.

I second what everyone else has already said but would add, stop worrying yourself by watching all the - woe is me, life is so hard with 2, boohoo, attention seeking for likes - shit on TikTok. 😉

it’s not easy having 2 under 3, but most people I know found it a lot easier than they expected.

I'm so glad you said this because it's so true! I Literally said this to my partner today, people are always so negative online, having my first wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. It changed my life that was the hardest part, obviously every baby is different. I'm feeling so much better today! Thank you all